Letters

Letters 8-18-2014

The Climate Clarified

Climate change isn’t an easy subject. A class I’m taking compared it to medicine in a way that was helpful for me: Climate scientists are like planetary physicians. Our understanding of medicine is incomplete, but what we know is useful...

Beware Non-Locally Grown

The article “Farm Fresh?” couldn’t be any more true than exactly stated. As an avid shopper at the local farm markets I want to know “exactly” what I am buying, from GMO free to organic or not organic, sprayed or not sprayed and with what...

Media Bias Must End

I wish to thank Joel Weberman for his letter “Seeking Balanced Israel Coverage.” The pro-Palestinian bias includes TV news coverage...

Proud of My President

The world is a mess. According to many conservative voices, it would not be in such a mess if Obama was not the president. I am finally understanding that the problem with our president is that he is too thoughtful, too rational, too realistic, too inclined to see things differently and change his mind, too compassionate to be the leader of a free world...

Home · Articles · News · Other Opinions · Bush made me do it
. . . .

Bush made me do it

Jeff Gibbs - September 29th, 2005
Recently, I learned a horrible secret: George W. Bush is to blame for global warming. It’s Bush’s fault your basic hurricane, which used to destroy, say, “a city,” n dismantles parts of three states and a federal agency in a single day. I mean, most Americans are against global warming, are pro-environment, and worship a guy whose only possessions were sandals and a robe. Someone must have brainwashed us into our energy-intensive, planet-destroying lifestyles and I think it was Bush.
Looking back, I am sure it was him that tricked me into trading my 1984 Honda Civic (45 mpg) for a minivan, then convinced my entire family to buy SUV’s. My poor mom! And I am equally sure it was Bush who grabbed the NO BLOOD FOR OIL signs from the hands of my protestor friends and forced them to fly to Ireland, Peru and India for “enlightenment.” How else do you explain liberals so cavalierly using so much of the stuff they loathe?
And remember George’s “missing” years in the ‘70’s? He was actually perfecting his Vulcan mind-meld and using it to making whites move to the suburbs to get away from black people; then making them move even farther out to get away from other white people. Yes, Bush’s brainwashing is the reason we now drive six miles for a gallon of milk and 60 miles to work. Once we were out in exurbia, the evil “W.” then hypnotized us into building plastic McMansions with four-car garages and filling them with cars for mom, dad, and the kids, riding lawnmowers, snowmobiles, power-boats, four-wheelers, weed-whackers and leaf-blowers. The horror!
But the greatest demonstration of the powers of Bush was when he telepathically forced President Bill Clinton to look the other way while auto companies went back to making cars with the fuel efficiency of a 1964 Cadillac, then forced Clinton to sign the global trade agreements (GATT, WTA, and NAFTA) that vastly accelerated our pillaging of the planet. W.’s next move was convincing the American public that the resulting economic boom was something “we deserved”-- and might just go on forever! Bush psyched us into thinking our riches came from “visualizing abundance” or “playing the market” instead of taking resources (like oil) from and enslaving (oops, I mean hiring) very, very, poor people to make stuff for us. Genius!
Even today there is little doubt it is evil George that keeps Americans watching “The Sopranos” on big-screen TVs, running air-conditioners day and night, and charging cell phones, iPods, and laptops incessantly so that more and more coal has to be burned to keep the electricity flowing -- making the planet ever more hotter and storms like Katrina ever more likely.
It MUST be George making us do it. Otherwise, now that we have seen on our big American televisions the living hell that is global warming courtesy of Katrina, we would be willing to give up a few things to stop using so much of the oil, coal and gas that causes it. Right?
But relax, don’t worry. If we all die a miserable death, it will be Bush that made us do it.


 
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