Letters

Letters 08-31-2015

Inalienable Rights This is a response to the “No More State Theatre” in your August 24th edition. I think I will not be the only response to this pathetic and narrow-minded letter that seems rather out of place in the northern Michigan that I know. To think we will not be getting your 25 cents for the movie you refused to see, but more importantly we will be without your “two cents” on your thoughts of a marriage at the State Theatre...

Enthusiastically Democratic Since I was one of the approximately 160 people present at when Senator Debbie Stabenow spoke on August 14 in Charlevoix, I was surprised to read in a letter to Northern Express that there was a “rather muted” response to Debbie’s announcement that she has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president...

Not Hurting I surely think the State Theatre will survive not having the homophobic presence of Colleen Smith and her family attend any matinees. I think “Ms.” Smith might also want to make sure that any medical personnel, bank staff, grocery store staff, waiters and/or waitress, etc. are not homosexual before accepting any service or product from them...

Stay Home I did not know whether to laugh or cry when I read the letter of the extremely homophobic, “disgusted” writer. She now refuses to patronize the State Theatre because she evidently feels that its confines have been poisoned by the gay wedding ceremony held there...

Keep Away In response to Colleen Smith of Cadillac who refused to bring her family to the State Theatre because there was a gay wedding there: Keep your 25 cents and your family out of Traverse City...

Celebrating Moore And A Theatre I was 10 years old when I had the privilege to see my first film at the State Theatre. I will never forget that experience. The screen was almost the size of my bedroom I shared with my older sister. The bursting sounds made me believe I was part of the film...

Outdated Thinking This letter is in response to Colleen Smith. She made public her choice to no longer go to the State Theater due to the fact that “some homosexuals” got married there. I’m not outraged by her choice; we don’t need any more hateful, self-righteous bigots in our town. She can keep her 25 cents...

Mackinac Pipeline Must Be Shut Down Crude oil flowing through Enbridge’s 60-yearold pipeline beneath the Mackinac Straits and the largest collection of fresh water on the planet should be a serious concern for every resident of the USA and Canada. Enbridge has a very “accident” prone track record...

Your Rights To Colleen, who wrote about the State Theatre: Let me thank you for sharing your views; I think most of us are well in support of the first amendment, because as you know- it gives everyone the opportunity to express their opinions. I also wanted to thank Northern Express for not shutting down these types of letters right at the source but rather giving the community a platform for education...

No Role Model [Fascinating Person from last week’s issue] Jada quoted: “I want to be a role model for girls who are interested in being in the outdoors.” I enjoy being in the outdoors, but I don’t want to kill animals for trophy...

Home · Articles · News · Random Thoughts · Driving my Hummer
. . . .

Driving my Hummer

George Foster - March 25th, 2004
I don’t know when I first fell in love with the Hummer.
It could have been during intense scenes of Black Hawk Down or at one of the Terminator flicks. The sight of enemy shells blasting off the chassis of those glorious Humvees, while the good guys are hunkered down inside, making their getaway, is enough to start me salivating.
In my wildest dreams, I visualize my hair blowing in the wind and debris splattering everywhere as my open-top Hummer and I climb over boulders and bulldoze through muddy rivers. More than 300 horses on the floor laugh at all obstacles in our path. Grille guards protect the few areas on my vehicle vulnerable to collisions – so back off, dude.
If my Hummer does force you off the road into a ditch, do not be alarmed. Shortly, it can pull you back to safety with the Hummer’s front-hitch mounted portable winch. Of course, in the city, traffic jams part whenever a Hummer arrives. As in Moses and the Red Sea, others can only step aside and stare in awe as my Hummer and I journey once more to the gas station.
Just in case you don’t know of what I speak, Hummers are those ultra-wide automobiles, taking up two lanes of highway. Previously a novelty, they are seen more and more on the road in recent years and always driven by the coolest guys in town. Hummers are based on the military Humvee and began production in 1992. Since military issued Humvees are unavailable for consumer use, a Hummer is the next best thing.
I have never owned one but Hummer ownership is my ultimate dream. For me, purchase of this behemoth is the measure by which I will eventually judge my life. I know… they cost a fortune ($50,000-$70,000 base plus accessories) and get a measly 10 miles or so per gallon of gasoline. Additionally, despite the jarring price tag on each vehicle, Hummers have gotten very low marks for quality of manufacturing.
I am aware those and any other pitfall you can argue. Still, there are many compelling reasons to own a Hummer – here are a few.
Driving a Hummer is good for the environment. Think about it. The planet is quickly running out of fossil fuels as the West continuous to burn oil at an increasing, gluttonous rate. Meanwhile, evil dictators, sitting on top of the world’s largest oil reserves, are holding the rest of the world hostage to their prices and tyrannical practices – a recipe for disaster, right?
Not if more of us owned Hummers. Such gas-guzzlers are actually accelerating the day that we run out of oil and finally develop our own renewable energy sources. We can all agree when that day comes, Americans will be far better off.
Safety. Every consumer report I’ve ever read concludes that the bigger the vehicle you drive, the more likely you are to survive a collision. Hummers are the biggest, baddest vehicles on the road – a virtual Sherman tank. The $70,000 models will set up a buffer zone of 9000 pounds of steel between any looming danger in your path and the passengers inside (you, your family and friends - bring the whole neighborhood, there is plenty of room in the newer models).
Driving a Hummer is a statement. For some, Hummer owners are dripping with a shallow, egomania that covers up for an inferiority complex carried over from childhood. I dispute that image. My view is that driving a Hummer around town is an opportunity to express one’s patriotism. If John Wayne were here today, you can bet he would be driving a Hummer. I understand Arnold Swartzenegger owns eight – now there is a true patriot. After all, Arnold knows driving a Hummer is as American as apple pie and chasing women.
Cruising around in a near-military vehicle shows solidarity with our troops. What would you rather be driving if attacked by terrorists here – a Toyota hybrid? Best of all, Hummers are manufactured by General Motors in the good old USA. So, now you know - Hummer owners are concerned with societal issues and not the superficial, conceited louts as portrayed.
Getting chicks. What woman can resist a guy who drives a car that costs more than a house. The ladies also know that Hummer owners are macho, charismatic, sexy, and very successful. BMW and Corvette owners: you are out of luck. Women have moved on to chasing guys in Hummers.
I only hope they can wait 20 more years while I am saving to buy one.



 
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