Rock of Ages

May 3, 2006

Stopped by the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland last weekend.  What a place. It’s a shrine containing rock‘s holiest of holies: Muddy Waters’ knocked-up old guitars from his South Side of Chicago days, Michael Jackson’s glove from “Billie Jean,” and the six-string beater that Johnny Cash used on his recording sessions at Sun Records back in ’55.  
Then there’s the shattered bass guitar that Paul Simonon of The Clash smashed to bits on the cover of “London Calling.” Mercy!  For someone raised on rock & roll it’s a religious experience, like going to an ancient cathedral and seeing pieces of the True Cross locked in crystal, or the finger bones of saints kept for hundreds of years in silver reliquaries.
It’s strange to think that there’s a six-story museum on the shores of Lake Erie dedicated to a music that hadn’t even been invented when many of us in the Baby Boom generation were born.  Rock & roll got its wings only 50 years ago -- around 1956.
Yet a lot of stuff in the museum looks as old and dingy as anything that came out of King Tut’s tomb.  Madonna’s cone-bra bustier (definitely in need of dry cleaning) looks positively ancient, like it could have been worn by Queen Elizabeth I some 500 years ago.  And I noticed with some satisfaction that a 1968 Guild 12-string used by Robbie Krieger of The Doors to write “Light My Fire” was as withered and wan as a piece of old driftwood.  I own the exact same guitar from ’68 and mine looks far spryer (though it hasn’t written “Riders on the Storm” yet).
On the other hand, some of the threads owned by Jimi Hendrix, Elvis and Sid Vicious are still as crisp and stylish as a new $50 bill.
It’s fun to eavesdrop on teens at the museum, and what they think is cool. Aerosmith still has street cred with kids, as do Bob Seger and Pink Floyd. (By the way, tickets for the summer concerts of Floyd alumni Roger Waters & David Gilmour are now on sale starting at only $400 per ticket. What happened to the days when a Pink Floyd concert cost around $4?)
Unfortunately, the musicians who are still alive have morphed from youthful spirits ablaze on giant screens televised from the ’60s to that of old prune faces and turtle heads, singing about their latest cancer procedures.  
It makes you wonder how long rock will retain its meaning and memories.  John Lennon’s scruffy black leather “greaser” jacket from The Beatles’ 1960 tour of Hamburg, Germany sparked an explosion in noir street fashions that echoes to this day. Will anyone have a clue as to what that jacket means 20 years from now?  
Well, it won’t matter anyway.
One thing you won’t find much of in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is current music; virtually none of the bands that Kristi Kates writes about in her “Modern Rock” column, or the galaxy of metal, death metal, screamo, emo, etc. bands that are popular with kids today. There’s just too much out there -- not to mention the gook generated by American Idol.  Most of today’s musicians pop like sparks from a campfire, shooting high in the air in a blazing arc before being extinguished on their downward drift before our very eyes.

BUST A MOVE
One genre that gets a lot of respect at the museum, however, is rap. Rap carried on the torch of social commentary when meaningful lyrics were dropped first by folk musicians and then by rockers. At Rock’s Hall of Fame, Snoop Dogg is held in high esteem, lauded as an artist who “transcends all genres and styles of music.”  He‘s a master of orchestration and recording techniques in addition to a vocal innovator.
It makes you wonder, why haven’t any rap or hip-hop stars been invited to perform at Interlochen?  
Fifty years ago, B.B. King wouldn’t have been allowed to perform at Interlochen.  Back then, he was playing what was called “race” music at roadhouses 70 miles south of here in rural Idlewild; yet today he’s an elder statesman at Interlochen. Does it have to take 50 years before an innovator gets an invite?  
You know, Beethoven was banned from some concert halls in his day too, because his music stirred wild passions, unfit for ladies and such. Like it or not, some of these rappers are the Beethovens of our day, denied a chance to play the palace.
I for one would love to see Snoop Dogg or similar hip-hop stars at Interlochen and hear the crowd singing along to “Gin & Juice.” Let’s get a “draft Snoop” thing going for ’07.

KILLING TREND
Latest homicidal threat: Airheads text-messaging their friends while driving.  Stand at a street corner sometime and watch the cars going by.  About every third vehicle has someone yakking on a cell phone.
 Now imagine that scenario with drivers text-messaging cell phones in their laps instead of watching the road. Soon, this will be a standard practice. There ought’a be fines and jail sentences for TMing on the road on par with drunk driving.
     
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO US
Whoops, speaking of museum pieces... almost forgot that it’s the 15th anniversary of Northern Express on May 1.  We didn’t make a fuss this year -- just a nod in passing.  We’re saving our energy for the big 2-0, five years from now when we bring in U2 and Madonna for the celebration.
But 15 feels good, and I imagine that some of you readers weren’t even born yet when we pasted up the first issue of
Northern Express back in May, 1991.
Thanks for the memories, and for
reading.