March 18, 2024

The Math Rebellion

March 21, 2007
It looks as though the Great Math Rebellion of 2007 is starting to wind down in Traverse City as school officials and parents do the arithmetic of gettin’ their heads together and solving the problem. Whew!
Some kids reportedly can’t understand the new “reformed math,” which employs a new problem-solving process. Ditto for parents, trying to help out.
I asked an expert what she thought of the high school math program: my daughter Chloe, who graduated a couple of years ago and is now in business school (I’m proud to say). She said she liked her high school Compass math program because it taught her how to work out problems in the real world... although in new ways that might be adrift from what us parents recall from our readin’, writin’ and ‘rithmetic daze...
So, different strokes for different folks.
This isn’t the first time that math horror stories have swept school campuses. In 1999, there was a national uproar when it was discovered that many high school grads with outstanding grades in math were unable to handle basic algebra in college. Like today, there was a call for a back-to-basics approach that appears to have led the latest version of “reformed math.”
I remember my own days in high school, struggling with what was called the “New Math” of the late ‘60s. Couldn’t make a lick of sense out of it, and neither could my mother, who gamely tried to help me study as I fell further and further behind in class.
So it was, with a solid roster of “E’s” to my credit, that I enrolled in remedial math in summer school in the 10th grade. I loved it. Finally, there was something that made sense: multiplication, division, fractions, addition. Got a “B” in the class (which was on par with becoming a rocket scientist for me).
But I can’t remember a thing about the New Math (except that it had something to do with “sets” of numbers, which had no relevance to anything). And after that rewarding sojourn in plain, old remedial math, I was plunged back into the incomprehensible New Math and the inevitable “E” and “D” grades. I just never got it.
Does your kid “get” the math taught in school today? Do you? Hope so. There’s nothing worse in school than feeling like a dry sponge, unable to soak up those lessons.

‘Support Our Firemen‘
Speaking of math, here‘s a little “story problem“ for you to hone your skills. See if you can solve the problem:
Two men were walking past a well and they heard a cry for help.
“Why, it‘s fireman Joe down there,“ said Jim. “What happened, Joe?“
“I was rescuing a cat and I fell in,“ Joe replied. “Could you throw me a rope? Otherwise I‘m going to drown down here.“
“No problem,“ Jim replied. “Obviously, that‘s the thing to do.“
But his friend John wasn‘t convinced.
“Hold on a minute,“ John said. “We can‘t pull fireman Joe out of there until he completes his mission. We‘ve got to support our firemen, after all.“
“But he‘s drowning!“ Jim protested.
“Are you saying you don‘t support our firemen?“ John said with an accusing squint.
“Well... sure I do,“ Jim said uncertainly.
“Yet you want to pull him out of the well before he‘s completed his mission of saving the cat. How can you call that supporting our firemen?“
Jim didn‘t know what to say. After all, it was fireman Joe‘s job to save the cat. And the prevailing attitude in his town was that it would be far better for Joe to drown than to pull him out before his mission was completed. In fact, more firemen would be sent down the well if Joe failed to retrieve the cat. It was considered the “patriotic“ thing to do, even though Jim happened to know that Fire Chief Freddy was a certified idiot who had ordered Joe into the well on a hopeless mission and then left him hanging.
Fire Chief Freddy said it would be better to send more men down the well to their doom than to have the department disgraced by failing the mission he had dreamed up.
Jim wanted to throw Joe a rope, but he was paralyzed by the idea that he wouldn‘t be “supporting the firemen“ if he did. At the same time, he noticed that John claimed to support the firemen, but wouldn‘t lift a finger on their behalf -- not even to pay any extra taxes so the firemen could have a proper cat-rescuing ladder.
It seemed odd to Jim that those who wanted to save fireman Joe were considered weak or even treasonous. Yet those who demanded he be sent to certain death claimed to be the most patriotic.
Meanwhile, from the well came an ominous silence.
Solve the problem: Are you a Jim or a John? How long will it take fireman Joe to drown while you split hairs over who “supports the firemen“?

President Granholm? Or Arnold?
There have been a glut of articles in the press claiming that Republicans are glum over their choices for the presidential campaign. Who can blame them with the likes of Mitt Romney in the running?
Democrats are happier with their candidates, but there‘s no sure bet as yet.
Solution? The adoption of a 28th Amendment to the Constitution would allow foreign-born citizens to run for the presidency, including Austrian-born Arnold Schwarzenegger and our own Canadian-born Governor Jennifer Granholm.
Both would arguably make better choices than the current flock of candidates. And if either did prove treasonous, at least we‘d have more of that good Austrian beer and sausage. Or extra Canadian maple syrup for our pancakes, eh?
Article 2, Section 1, Clause 5 of the Constitution reads, “No person except a natural born citizen ... shall be eligible to the office of president.” These days, we‘ve got infinitely more problems in government with people who pledge allegiance to ideologies than those who have a secret agenda on behalf of a foreign government. It‘s time for a change.

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