Letters

Letters 09-26-2016

Welcome To 1984 The Democrat Party, the government education complex, private corporations and foundations, the news media and the allpervasive sports and entertainment industry have incrementally repressed the foundational right of We the People to publicly debate open borders, forced immigration, sanctuary cities and the calamitous destruction of innate gender norms...

Grow Up, Kachadurian Apparently Tom Kachadurian has great words; too bad they make little sense. His Sept. 19 editorial highlights his prevalent beliefs that only Hillary and the Dems are engaged in namecalling and polarizing actions. Huh? What rock does he live under up on Old Mission...

Facts MatterThomas Kachadurian’s “In the Basket” opinion deliberately chooses to twist what Clinton said. He chooses to argue that her basket lumped all into the clearly despicable categories of the racist, sexist, homophobic , etc. segments of the alt right...

Turn Off Fox, Kachadurian I read Thomas Kachadurian’s opinion letter in last week’s issue. It seemed this opinion was the product of someone who offered nothing but what anyone could hear 24/7/365 on Fox News; a one-sided slime job that has been done better by Fox than this writer every day of the year...

Let’s Fix This Political Process Enough! We have been embroiled in the current election cycle for…well, over a year, or is it almost two? What is the benefit of this insanity? Exorbitant amounts of money are spent, candidates are under the microscope day and night, the media – now in action 24/7 – focuses on anything and everything anyone does, and then analyzes until the next event, and on it goes...

Can’t Cut Taxes 

We are in a different place today. The slogan, “Making America Great Again” begs the questions, “great for whom?” and “when was it great?” I have claimed my generation has lived in a bubble since WWII, which has offered a prosperity for a majority of the people. The bubble has burst over the last few decades. The jobs which provided a good living for people without a college degree are vanishing. Unions, which looked out for the welfare of employees, have been shrinking. Businesses have sought to produce goods where labor is not expensive...

Wrong About Clinton In response to Thomas Kachadurian’s column, I have to take issue with many of his points. First, his remarks about Ms. Clinton’s statement regarding Trump supporters was misleading. She was referring to a large segment of his supporters, not all. And the sad fact is that her statement was not a “smug notion.” Rather, it was the sad truth, as witnessed by the large turnout of new voters in the primaries and the ugly incidents at so many of his rallies...

Home · Articles · News · News · 30 Minutes or Less
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30 Minutes or Less

None - August 19th, 2011  

I should do a little more research, but I think “30 Minutes or Less” is the first R-rated slacker comedy based on a true recent story in which a man was blown up by a bomb strapped around his neck. You may recall the 2003 case of a pizza delivery man who dreamed up a scheme to rob a bank with the bomb strapped on. He thought it was a fake bomb, but his treacherous partners doublecrossed him.

Now here is a movie about a guy who drives for a Grand Rapids pizzeria that promises your pizza in 30 minutes or less. That, of course, establishes him as a breakneck stunt driver, which will be useful in the inevitable chase scene. The driver, named Nick, is played by Jesse Eisenberg, in an unfortunate career move after “The Social Network.” He was so good in that film that it is impossible to believe him as a character as dumb as Nick. Try to imagine George Clooney, Ben Kingsley and John Malkovich playing the Three Stooges.

His best buddy is Chet (Aziz Ansari), who goes ballistic when he discovers Nick has slept with his beautiful twin sister, Kate (Dilshad Vadsaria). That causes complications when Nick turns to Chet in desperation with a bomb strapped to his chest.

How did this happen? We meet two slacker layabouts, Dwayne (Danny McBride) and Travis (Nick Swardson). Hapless, luckless and witless, they make 10 bucks an hour cleaning the pool of Dwayne’s father (Fred Ward). One night during a lap dance Dwayne mentions his dad is a lottery winner. Juicy (Bianca Kajlich), the dancer, promises that Dwayne’s lap need never be untenanted again if he steals a million from his dad. She even suggests a hit man from Detroit: Chango (Michael Pena).

Their brainstorm: Order a pizza, strap a bomb to the guy, and have him rob a bank to get them the money to pay the hit man, who will then kill the lottery-winning dad. Need I explain that everyone involved in this plot is stupid enough to go along with it?

The time bomb deadline ramps up the urgency and leads to great desperation. The movie’s strategic error is to set the deadline too far in the future. There is something annoying about a comedy where a guy is strapped to a bomb and nevertheless has time to spare for off-topic shouting matches with his best buddy. A buddy comedy loses some of its charm in a situation like that.

Certain moments in the film elicit mechanical laughs. The chase is well-staged, but then staging a good chase, in this era of CGI, is becoming routine. Eisenberg is a good actor, which may be why he’s wrong for this. The tension over his buddy’s sister feels contrived, and only one line is devoted to the intriguing implications that she’s a twin sister.

Oh, and the only purpose of the sister, Kate, is to be beautiful. She is plugged into the plot, used to establish her existence and dropped. If she had been more involved, that might have been an improvement -- or might have shown up the plot’s shaky contrivance. Better to devote more screen time to the lap dancer, right? If you occupy the demographic this film is aimed at, Hollywood doesn’t have a very high opinion of you. Rating: Two stars.

 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
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