Letters

Letters 04-25-2016

Taking Our Trees Seconds ago this pine tree was alive. Well, Mr. Cook — our County Road Commission head —and Peninsula Township government … by not weighing in (I guess it’s not your problem or responsibility to communicate with residents), you allowed the County Road Commission to bulldoze down huge swaths of lakeside trees in order to increase the bike lane. This can’t be happening. I have no clue why they would cut trees down that help block snow from creating drifts on Peninsula Drive and help keep the beach area intact. Plus, they are not increasing the width of the road when they repave. I just don’t get it. This is amateur hour at county and township government...

Government Service Unrewarded I served the federal government for XX years with the [agency], [doing XX]. I also worked in the private sector, [doing XX]. When I retired, I was surprised to learn my Social Security benefit would be $XXX less per month than my colleagues and neighbors who had never worked for the federal government. This is all because of the Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) under the Social Security law...

Which Greased Palm Now that “Chicago values” have utterly corrupted the executive and judicial branches of our federal government, this November We the Plebeians shall either vote to right the governing integrity of the United States constitution’s twin pillars of limited government and separation of powers or turn and step collectively onto the blood soaked road to serfdom...

The Political Mess And Challenge As citizens we are faced with a real challenge. The media and the political candidates have taken over a year to attack those whom they are opposing. The unfavorable ratings of those who may be nominated are above 50 percent. That should be no surprise, considering the length of time given to bloodying one another with opinions that have little relationship to truth. The polling companies, which confess they are not reliable, make everything a game of winning...

CORRECTIONS In last week’s issue we had photos with the incorrect stories on page five. The dance photo should have accompanied the story about grants to nonprofits. The image of Crooked Tree Arts Center Petoskey should have accompanied the story about the ArtPrize exhibit at CTAC.

We also reported the incorrect day for the Bayshore Marathon in Traverse City. The correct date is Sat., May 28.

We apologize for these errors.

Home · Articles · News · Random Thoughts · Men deserve purses, too
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Men deserve purses, too

George Foster - September 7th, 2006
In a song from the 1960s, an old Motown band rates the various qualities to look for in women, but concludes, “...first I look at the purse.”
I, too, have made a study of the purse... those carried by men. We need to brace ourselves, guys. In the future, every man will own a purse. Not a wallet, I mean a real honest-to-goodness handbag with shoulder straps, multi-pocketed, and room enough to fill with guy’s stuff.
I knew this was coming. You see, in the late 1960s and early 1970s, I admit to using a purse. At college, some kind of bag to carry books seemed only reasonable. After observing a star basketball player on campus using a purse (a frilly one at that), I decided not to concern myself with how my manhood might be perceived in public. When asked, I informed friends that I had purchased a “pouch” at the army surplus store. At that moment in my maturity, I was still not ready to concede I had been reduced to carrying a purse.
I haven’t used it in 30 years but I came to love that purse... I mean, pouch. It was camouflage green and I imagined it whispered “macho”. Also, I now understood why women carried purses - having daily essentials at an arm’s length is a real luxury. In addition to books, the 1970s lunch of raw nuts and organic fruit didn’t take up much space in the bag. A journal of poetry was also easily stored in my trusty pouch. It was a different era, okay?
The proliferation of cell phones has created a pent-up demand for purses deep in the subconscious male brain. Most guys own mobile phones, but there is no phone-carrying bag currently on the market suitable for men. We usually carry our phones on some variation of a belt hook or in our pocket. The problem with this solution is that phones are continually smashed against walls and car doors. Also, café floors are
littered with cell phones that slide out of male customer pockets. Worst-case
scenarios result in phones falling to ghastly deaths of pavement obliteration or toilet drowning.
No getting around it, men need purses. Today, in addition to mobile phones, a growing problem of keys, key-rings and chains are filling the pockets of most men. We carry keys for workplace doors,
keys for houses, garages, cars, PO boxes, storage units, bicycles, lockers, etc., I
have enough keys, alone, to fill a medium-sized purse.
Don’t forget the latest in high quality, low-priced digital cameras. It is tempting to carry these enjoyable devices on our person, daily. But you try putting a camera-carrying case on your belt, flanked by a mobile phone holder, weighed down by three-dozen keys - not to mention wallet, change, and iPods... good grief.
Women are just smarter than men on this score. My practical wife owns a huge, green purse, a virtual suitcase. Her handbag has miraculous expansion capabilities - for good reason since she fills it with about half of her possessions. Whenever I have been forced to rummage inside of her purse for items, I am once again reminded of how grueling it can be to enter a blackhole of makeup cases, cameras, papers, phones, vitamins, and car keys. Yet, somehow, my wife knows the exact location of each item in her purse.
What men don’t understand is that it will take centuries for us to advance to the level of women in this area of evolution. You see - the purse has become a virtual body part for many females.
In all the years I have observed my mother, her purse rarely left her side. I once attempted to surprise her by snatching her handbag from behind while walking on a city street. Instantly, she switched into crisis mode by putting a two-handed, vice-like grip on her purse that this 200-pound man could not have extracted without a titanic struggle. Only while sleeping, my mother loosens her grip on the handbag. Of course, hanging on the bedroom doorknob, her purse is a mere three-foot leap away from her bed in the rare case an intruder might be tempted. Not surprisingly, my mother has never lost her purse, let alone her mobile phone.
So men, what are we waiting for? I volunteer to be one of the first to acquire a purse... as long as it is camouflage green, of course.
 
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