Letters

Letters 08-31-2015

Inalienable Rights This is a response to the “No More State Theatre” in your August 24th edition. I think I will not be the only response to this pathetic and narrow-minded letter that seems rather out of place in the northern Michigan that I know. To think we will not be getting your 25 cents for the movie you refused to see, but more importantly we will be without your “two cents” on your thoughts of a marriage at the State Theatre...

Enthusiastically Democratic Since I was one of the approximately 160 people present at when Senator Debbie Stabenow spoke on August 14 in Charlevoix, I was surprised to read in a letter to Northern Express that there was a “rather muted” response to Debbie’s announcement that she has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president...

Not Hurting I surely think the State Theatre will survive not having the homophobic presence of Colleen Smith and her family attend any matinees. I think “Ms.” Smith might also want to make sure that any medical personnel, bank staff, grocery store staff, waiters and/or waitress, etc. are not homosexual before accepting any service or product from them...

Stay Home I did not know whether to laugh or cry when I read the letter of the extremely homophobic, “disgusted” writer. She now refuses to patronize the State Theatre because she evidently feels that its confines have been poisoned by the gay wedding ceremony held there...

Keep Away In response to Colleen Smith of Cadillac who refused to bring her family to the State Theatre because there was a gay wedding there: Keep your 25 cents and your family out of Traverse City...

Celebrating Moore And A Theatre I was 10 years old when I had the privilege to see my first film at the State Theatre. I will never forget that experience. The screen was almost the size of my bedroom I shared with my older sister. The bursting sounds made me believe I was part of the film...

Outdated Thinking This letter is in response to Colleen Smith. She made public her choice to no longer go to the State Theater due to the fact that “some homosexuals” got married there. I’m not outraged by her choice; we don’t need any more hateful, self-righteous bigots in our town. She can keep her 25 cents...

Mackinac Pipeline Must Be Shut Down Crude oil flowing through Enbridge’s 60-yearold pipeline beneath the Mackinac Straits and the largest collection of fresh water on the planet should be a serious concern for every resident of the USA and Canada. Enbridge has a very “accident” prone track record...

Your Rights To Colleen, who wrote about the State Theatre: Let me thank you for sharing your views; I think most of us are well in support of the first amendment, because as you know- it gives everyone the opportunity to express their opinions. I also wanted to thank Northern Express for not shutting down these types of letters right at the source but rather giving the community a platform for education...

No Role Model [Fascinating Person from last week’s issue] Jada quoted: “I want to be a role model for girls who are interested in being in the outdoors.” I enjoy being in the outdoors, but I don’t want to kill animals for trophy...

Home · Articles · News · Random Thoughts · A love letter
. . . .

A love letter

Robert Downes - February 11th, 2008
Dear Northern Michigan Men,
Many of you will be in ladies‘ underwear this week.
Not literally, of course, but browsing the lingerie department in stores around the region for that ‘special something’ for Valentine’s Day.
I remember a packed Men’s Night at a lingerie shop a year ago. Grown men were elbowing each other out of the way, debating the pros & cons of silky bustiers, thongs, teddies and lacy bra & panty combinations. And frankly, they were having a blast.
The chatter in the store was along the lines of: “Do you think she’ll look better in the polka dot combo or red satin? What about something sheer and silky in chartreuse? Hmmm...”
For men, the fun of shopping for lingerie is imagining how our lady will look in the fur-trimmed negligee with the pom-pom ball tassels that we picked out all by ourselves. Or the thrill that will light up her eyes when she tries on that scratchy nylon saloon girl’s outfit that was popular on “Gunsmoke” 50 years ago.
Ahem. That’s why some of us have learned to ‘keep it simple, stupid’ when shopping for sweet nothings. Something sensual but semi-tasteful, and always keep the receipt in case that lace fantasy is too tight, too big, or not her color, and inspires more thoughts of the return counter than romance.
And back it up with a box of chocolates or a red rose, just in case.

Your Valentine Pal -- Bob

Dear Britney,
Haven‘t heard from you since, oh, last week. You never write, you never call...
But I‘m worried that you‘re going the way of Kurt Cobain with your drama queen antics, so here‘s the advice I would have given him before he stuck that shotgun in his mouth:
Get out of town, babe. Drive up to Dawson in Alaska, find a bunch of locals who don‘t have a clue as to who you are, and spend four months rafting 2,000 miles down the Yukon River this summer.
The Great Outdoors -- best rehab center in the world. Mosquito bites, near-death experiences, bears, sittin‘ by the campfire at night -- it‘s just what you need, blackout girl. And when you get back, you can reinvent yourself as a country star with a coonskin cap and buckskin bikini.

Hugs & Kisses -- Bob

Dear TC Commission,
There’s a new bar in Traverse City which has a no-smoking policy. Recently, I stopped in and found a good crowd there, enjoying the new brews and the clean air.
Just down the street there’s another new bar which allows smoking on its premises. It too had a full house, with many patrons who are grateful that they can still have a cigarette with their beer.
Two choices -- smoking & non-smoking -- within a couple of blocks of each other. What a concept.
Hmm, now do we need the Traverse City Commission to tell us what we can or cannot do through the creation of a new ordinance to ban smoking from bars and restaurants?
Or, are we capable of making that decision for ourselves?
Although I‘m not a smoker, I‘d still prefer to make my own choices, thank you. It‘s called “freedom.“

Love Ya -- Bob

Dear Detroit,
Yeah, times are tough in Michigan‘s biggest city and you‘re bringin‘ us down with you, literally.
But you‘ve been hit with a recession bordering on a depression every 10 years ever since I was a kid, way back before Howdy Doody was on the air.
Each time, you vow to diversify your economy when the tough times are over. Then, somehow you pull your rear-end out of the fire and forget your promise.
So don‘t worry. Some Chinese automaker will come along, buy up your auto companies and save the day. And 10 years from now, you‘ll be wearing the same pair of shoes, wondering how it all went wrong. Again.

Your Tough Love Admirer -- Bob

Dear John McCain,
Get back to the straight talk and stop listening to critics who claim you‘re not “conservative“ enough for their brand of bile.
To refresh your memory, Americans are sick of the path that conservatives in your party have led us down over the past eight years. That‘s why we threw them out of office in the last election.
We‘re tired of war, tired of hearing that torture and waterboarding are okay, tired of military spending at the expense of health care and education. Tired of no action on global warming and America‘s bad reputation around the world. This is where conservatives have led us and it‘s why America is saying “enough.“
The “C“ word people are clamoring for is “change,“ not more ideas that are as dead as Ronald Reagan.
People like the independent, open-minded John McCain, not the guy who rolls over for talk radio fruitcakes.

With Warm Regards -- Bob

Dear Barack Obama,
Congratulations on not sweeping the Super Tuesday primaries. If you had won it all, you‘d be stuck spending the next eight months pretending to be the second coming of John F. Kennedy. Eventually, people would find out that you‘re a human being instead of a myth and they‘d feel betrayed. In the long run, you‘re better off being a flesh & blood candidate than a fantasy from the ‘60s.
P.S. Love that ‘Obama Girl‘ clip on YouTube. She‘s going to win it for you.

Your Valentine Buddy -- Bob

 
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