Letters

Letters 08-31-2015

Inalienable Rights This is a response to the “No More State Theatre” in your August 24th edition. I think I will not be the only response to this pathetic and narrow-minded letter that seems rather out of place in the northern Michigan that I know. To think we will not be getting your 25 cents for the movie you refused to see, but more importantly we will be without your “two cents” on your thoughts of a marriage at the State Theatre...

Enthusiastically Democratic Since I was one of the approximately 160 people present at when Senator Debbie Stabenow spoke on August 14 in Charlevoix, I was surprised to read in a letter to Northern Express that there was a “rather muted” response to Debbie’s announcement that she has endorsed Hillary Clinton for president...

Not Hurting I surely think the State Theatre will survive not having the homophobic presence of Colleen Smith and her family attend any matinees. I think “Ms.” Smith might also want to make sure that any medical personnel, bank staff, grocery store staff, waiters and/or waitress, etc. are not homosexual before accepting any service or product from them...

Stay Home I did not know whether to laugh or cry when I read the letter of the extremely homophobic, “disgusted” writer. She now refuses to patronize the State Theatre because she evidently feels that its confines have been poisoned by the gay wedding ceremony held there...

Keep Away In response to Colleen Smith of Cadillac who refused to bring her family to the State Theatre because there was a gay wedding there: Keep your 25 cents and your family out of Traverse City...

Celebrating Moore And A Theatre I was 10 years old when I had the privilege to see my first film at the State Theatre. I will never forget that experience. The screen was almost the size of my bedroom I shared with my older sister. The bursting sounds made me believe I was part of the film...

Outdated Thinking This letter is in response to Colleen Smith. She made public her choice to no longer go to the State Theater due to the fact that “some homosexuals” got married there. I’m not outraged by her choice; we don’t need any more hateful, self-righteous bigots in our town. She can keep her 25 cents...

Mackinac Pipeline Must Be Shut Down Crude oil flowing through Enbridge’s 60-yearold pipeline beneath the Mackinac Straits and the largest collection of fresh water on the planet should be a serious concern for every resident of the USA and Canada. Enbridge has a very “accident” prone track record...

Your Rights To Colleen, who wrote about the State Theatre: Let me thank you for sharing your views; I think most of us are well in support of the first amendment, because as you know- it gives everyone the opportunity to express their opinions. I also wanted to thank Northern Express for not shutting down these types of letters right at the source but rather giving the community a platform for education...

No Role Model [Fascinating Person from last week’s issue] Jada quoted: “I want to be a role model for girls who are interested in being in the outdoors.” I enjoy being in the outdoors, but I don’t want to kill animals for trophy...

Home · Articles · News · Books · Why Mars & Venus collide
. . . .

Why Mars & Venus collide

Robert Downes - February 11th, 2008
“Why Mars & Venus Collide”
By John Gray
Harper-Collins
272 pages
$24.95


Is your relationship cosmically stressed out? Is a meteor shower of
hassles and time-pressure tearing up your world of love and commitment?
Is your rocket to romance stalled on the launching pad because you can’t
choose between Mars and Venus as a destination?
If so, you may wish to consult “Why Mars & Venus Collide,” the latest
self-help book for relationships by space explorer and love coach John
Gray.
Gray is the author who charted the differences between men and women in
the 1992 bestseller, “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus.”
In that book, Martians (men) and
Venusians (women) fell in love, and moved to planet Earth, where things
quickly started falling apart because “they forgot they were from
different planets.”
A couples counselor, Gray outlined the differences between the sexes with
a blend of humor, insight and common sense. Since that time, he’s made a
franchise of the Mars and Venus schtick with 15 books, including “Mars and
Venus Together Forever,” “Mars and Venus in the Bedroom,” “Mars and Venus
on a Date,” and “Mars and Venus Starting Over.”

SUPER STRESSED
The cosmic question with his latest book is whether Gray can keep pumping
air into the vacuum between Mars and Venus to resuscitate one more
interplanetary ‘how-to’ book for improving your relationship.
The answer to that lies with whether you believe Gray’s premise that men
and women are on a collision course over too much stress in their lives as
a result of the modern workaday world and its demands.
“Over the last fifteen years, a new trend in relationships has emerged,
linked to increasing stress,” Gray writes. “Both couples and singles
believe they are too busy or too exhausted to resolve their relationship
issues, and often think their partners are either too demanding or just
too different to understand...
“Everyday stress drains our energy and patience and leaves us feeling too
exhausted or overwhelmed to enjoy and support each other,” he continues.
“We are often too busy to see what is obvious. A man will give his heart
and soul to make enough money to provide for his family and return home
too tired even to talk with them. A woman will give and give to support
her husband and children and then resent them for not giving back the kind
of support she thrives on giving. Under the influence of stress, men and
women forget why we do what we do.”

HOW STRESSED?
Not everyone will buy the idea that modern stress is so all-consuming that
we’re “too exhausted or overwhelmed” to sustain happy relationships.
After all, this is the era when the Nielsen ratings report that the
average American spends four and a half hours in front of the television
each day -- not the most stressful of activities. And are people really
more stressed now than they were, say, while starving on their farms
during the Great Depression, or while worried about getting shot and
having the house burned down during the Civil War?
And is it really so bad, as Gray claims, that couples enjoy text-messaging
and emailing each other rather than “communicating”? For many of us, TMing
or email is a fun reminder that “I’m thinking of you.”
If anything, one could just as easily make the claim that relationships
suffer today because we live under less stress than at any time in human
history. The flip side of stress is malaise and ambivalence.
But fans will be more inclined to agree with Gray, who cites a rogue’s
gallery of stress-producers, such as longer working hours, credit card
debt, health care issues, rising costs for food and housing, and the
problems of raising children in two-career families. If you’re in this
orbit, “Why Mars & Venus Collide” offers advice for recognizing the
problem and learning how to lower your stress and that of your partner’s.

MAKING POINTS
Gray is at his best when he’s offering practical advice and making common
sense observations about the differences between men and women.
In one provocative passage, he says that men and women tend to award each
other “points” for good behavior. But whereas men tend to think that
grand gestures should be worth a large number of points, women tend to
award a single point for every effort, be it the gift of a Mexican
vacation, or volunteering to vacuum the house.
A man receives one point each for going to work each day, coming home at
night, and remaining faithful, Gray says. But if he fails to perform any
of those requirements, all of his points go up in smoke. Gray also claims
that women award a single point for gifts, no matter how grand; so a man
would do better to give his sweetheart a single rose daily for 12 days
than to buy a bouquet of a dozen roses... good advice, perhaps, for
Valentines Day.




 
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