Skinny Bitch in the Kitch
By Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin
$13.95 - $14.95
It was just an obscure diet book on the shelves a little over a year ago, but today, Skinny Bitch and its sister publication Skinny Bitch in the Kitch
are two of the fattest books on the bestseller charts.
Specifically, Skinny Bitch has spent the past 30 weeks at the top of the New York Times Paperback Advice Bestseller List, with Skinny Bitch in the Kitch weighing in at number four, along with nine weeks on the list.
Both books offer vegan diet advice from the world of modeling. Author Rory Freedman is a former agent for Ford Models and a self-taught know-it-all, while Kim Barnouin is a former model who holds an MS degree in holistic nutrition.
The books succeed on their outrageous humor and take-no-prisoners attitude. Stop being a moron and start getting skinny! is a sample of what youre in for. Readers are lectured that: If you cant take one more day of self-loathing, youre ready to hear the truth: You cannot keep shoveling the same crap into your mouth every day and expect to lose weight.
The tough talk has been a clarion call for readers, who are exhorted to stop eating (or cooking) crap and start looking fabulous.
So, what is that crap youve been eating? Freedman and Barnouin run down the list of the usual suspects: sugar, dairy, carbs, meat, too much protein -- all of the things that models tend to avoid in order to slip into size 0 outfits.
Chapter headings spell out the gospel of Freedman and Barnouins bible: Sugar is the Devil, The Dairy Disaster, You Are What You Eat, and the intriguing Pooping, which advocates eating plenty of fiber, drinking lots of water and exercising to get your stools just right.
Theres a healthful portion of raunch and bad taste in the Skinny Bitch books that makes the message go down easy. Readers are morons and shitheads who should quit whining and get skinny by eating right. The f word is salted on like a tour at boot camp. And it turns out that reading turgid facts about nutrition is a lot easier when theyre sprinkled with the spice of the authors outrageous humor.
Freedman and Barnouin are militant vegetarians who save their greatest wrath for Americas meat-based diet. Or, as they call it: The Dead, Rotting Decomposing Flesh Diet.
Fans of the Atkins Diet, which advocates monstrous portions of meat as a mainstay, will not be pleased. The authors lead off their anti-meat crusade with the following attack:
The Atkins diet. Hmm. Eat the flesh of dead cows, dead pigs, and dead chickens. Avoid fresh fruit. You are a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin. Or, you are a gluttonous pig who wants to believe you can eat cheeseburgers all day long and lose weight.
Nor do the authors countenance the cruelty to 10 billion animals slaughtered each year in America and the gross, stomach-turning realities of the meat-production industry.
They also scorn government agencies such as the U.S. Department of Agriculture and the Food and Drug Administration, claiming that both have a vested interest in supporting the purveyors of unhealthy, processed food, and a reliance on drugs, rather than good nutrition.
So, what should you eat? You need to get healthy if you want to be skinny! the authors assert.
That means an all-vegan diet, with no fish, poultry, eggs or dairy, and no looking back or excuses for backsliding. Add to that plenty of vitamins.
The menu for a typical day is as follows: granola, fruit and yogurt for breakfast; a club sandwich made with fake bacon and fake turkey with a three-bean salad for lunch; and vegan pad thai for dinner with no egg, shrimp or fish stock.
Skinning Bitch in the Kitch carries on in the same vein, offering all-veg recipes for the newly-converted.
Whether readers are ready to make the leap to pure vegetarianism in order to become skinny bitches is anyones guess, but the books guarantee plenty of laughs and some common-sense advice on nutrition, making for a fun, informative read.