Letters

Letters 09-07-2015

DEJA VUE Traverse City faces the same question as faced by Ann Arbor Township several years ago. A builder wanted to construct a 250-student Montessori school on 7.78 acres. The land was zoned for suburban residential use. The proposed school building was permissible as a “conditional use.”

The Court Overreached Believe it or not, everyone who disagrees with the court’s ruling on gay marriage isn’t a hateful bigot. Some of us believe the Supreme Court simply usurped the rule of law by legislating from the bench...

Some Diversity, Huh? Either I’ve been misled or misinformed about the greater Traverse City area. I thought that everyone there was so ‘all inclusive’ and open to other peoples’ opinions and, though one may disagree with said person, that person was entitled to their opinion(s)...

Defending Good People I was deeply saddened to read Colleen Smith’s letter [in Aug. 24 issue] regarding her boycott of the State Theater. I know both Derek and Brandon personally and cannot begin to understand how someone could express such contempt for them...

Not Fascinating I really don’t understand how you can name Jada Johnson a fascinating person by being a hunter. There are thousands of hunters all over the world, shooting by gun and also by arrow; why is she so special? All the other people listed were amazing...

Back to Mayberry A phrase that is often used to describe the amiable qualities that make Traverse City a great place to live is “small-town charm,” conjuring images of life in 1940s small-town America. Where everyone in Mayberry greets each other by name, job descriptions are simple enough for Sarah Palin to understand, and milk is delivered to your door...

Don’t Be Threatened The August 31 issue had 10 letters(!) blasting a recent writer for her stance on gay marriage and the State Theatre. That is overkill. Ms. Smith has a right to her opinion, a right to comment in an open forum such as Northern Express...

Treat The Sickness Thank you to Grant Parsons for the editorial exposing the uglier residual of the criminalizing of drug use. Clean now, I struggled with addiction for a good portion of my adult life. I’ve never sold drugs or committed a violent crime, but I’ve been arrested, jailed, and eventually imprisoned. This did nothing but perpetuate shame, alienation, loss and continued use...

About A Girl -- Not Consider your audience, Thomas Kachadurian (“About A Girl” column). Preachy opinion pieces don’t change people’s minds. Example: “My view on abortion changed…It might be time for the rest of the country to catch up.” Opinion pieces work best when engaging the reader, not directing the reader...

Disappointed I am disappointed with the tone of many of the August 31 responses to Colleen Smith’s Letter to the Editor from the previous week. I do not hold Ms. Smith’s opinion; however, if we live in a diverse community, by definition, people will hold different views, value different things, look and act different from one another...

Free Will To Love I want to start off by saying I love Northern Express. It is well written, unbiased and always a pleasure to read. I am sorry I missed last month’s article referred to in the Aug. 24 letter titled, “No More State Theater.”

Home · Articles · News · Other Opinions · Journey into manhood
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Journey into manhood

Nathan Wildman - September 6th, 2007
I don’t know when exactly it was that I became a man -- I just know that at the age of 27, I have become one. Like so many men and boys in our culture, my transition into adulthood is blurred. With roughly 50% of marriages ending in divorce and a growing number of fatherless children being raised, there is a lack of a Rite of Passage into manhood for most of us. Instead, we are left to figure it out for ourselves. Some of us look for milestones to tell us when we’re men; for example: graduation, driver’s license, sexual maturity, the drinking age, buying your first house, marriage, etc.

I have gone through each of these “Rites” and cannot tell you which one of these defined it. Yet I know that I am a man. This revelation of my manhood came to me the other day. I was just standing there watching my three-year-old princess run laps around the cul-de-sac at the end of our neighborhood, when BAM! It fell on me heavily. You are a man Nathan. The idea stuck with me -- I am. But when did it happen?


Rites of Passage
Many cultures still have their Ritual Rite of Passage into manhood intact. I read an article once about a group of high school boys who were going to Africa to participate in the Ghanaian “into the bush” rite of passage. This sounds like a great idea, except that in 2000 two boys died and 50 others were hospitalized in Sebokeng (a town near Johannesburg) after this ritual. What kind of permission slip did the parents sign for that field trip? The boys would be joining the Xhosa people of Kwamagxaki, South Africa, for three weeks of seclusion in the bush followed by circumcision by a non-certified bush doctor or rookie leader. Often, this is done using the same knife, handed down from past generations, without cleaning it in between each boy. Not surprisingly, this leads to infections and complications, often resulting in the loss of the penis or death.
Also in East Africa, the Maasai tribe’s boys give away their childhood possessions. Their hair is shaved and replaced with ashes. They wrap themselves in black cloth and begin a complex initiation. During a hunt they must find many feathers from different birds to make a big headdress. This nest is a symbol of rebirth, and the new hair growing is the hair of a man. The head is blessed by elders using an elixer of water, milk, and honey and encased in thick red paint. Then the hair is made into dreadlocks.
I was also told about an old Cherokee legend of a youth’s Rite of Passage. The father takes him out into the wilderness, blindfolds him, and leaves him alone sitting on a stump. He is required to sit still and not cry out for help until sunrise. The young boy is naturally terrified -- he can hear all sorts of noises around him -- some wild beast might come around and hurt him. At last the night is over and he is a man. The boy removes his blindfold only to see that his father was there watching him all night, protecting him from harm.

Where Are We Today?
These rituals are nothing like the few scattered Rites of Passage that we have in our culture. A contributing factor of the lack of transitional rituals may be the lack of masculine influence and mentorship in today’s young boys. For the most part, men are not expected to fulfill the need of a boy’s confirmation of his manhood. Yet, not all American men have given up on this important event. I have been to one ceremony that included men from the church who were involved in the lives of boys. There were speeches, parable life lesson activities, and gifts. The boys leave ready to grow into manhood, in theory at least.

When I was a child, I remember friends telling me about a ritual that would happen around age 18 or before leaving the home to go to college. The boy would be taken hunting, given his own gun and attempt to “bag” his first deer. He must wait and wait, no video games or Mtv, until he kills one or until deer season is over. If he shoots one he then will have to cut out the heart and eat it raw and pumping, (at least a bite) and drink a little blood; then he must skin and process the deer. I have been told that this is an ancient tradition passed down from Native American tribes.

What’s the Point?
So what’s the point of all this? Is it just to hack up our private parts and
cover ourselves in dirt and blood,
and eat things we maybe shouldn’t eat? And then when it’s all over we’ve magically become men?
No, it’s not even important what the ritual involves, just that there is one. The point is, after the ritual, what has changed is the boy’s perception of himself. If he feels like a man, he’ll begin to act like one. Also, the fact that this is a public event will change the way everyone else sees him too. If he is pronounced a man by other men, then he is one.
In this light, it’s pretty evident why so many cultures continue to pass down these rituals from generation to generation. Maybe as men, it’s time for us to start new Rites of Passage. It doesn’t have to be dangerous or bloody, just… something.

Nathan Wildman is a writer from Traverse City.
 
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