Letters

Letters 08-25-14

Save America

I read your paper because it’s free and I enjoy the ads. But I struggle through the left wing tripe that fills every page, from political cartoons to the vitriolic pen of Mr. Tuttle. What a shame this beautiful area of the state has such an abundance of Socialist/democrats. Or perhaps the silent majority chooses to stay silent...

Doom, Yet a Cup Half Full

In the news we are told of the civil unrest at Ferguson, Mo; ISIS war radicals in Iraq and Syria; the great corporate tax heist at home. You name it. Trouble, trouble, everywhere. It seems to me the U.S. Congress is partially to blame...

Uncomfortable Questions

defending the positions of the Israelis vs Hamas are far too narrow. Even Mr. Tuttle seems to have failed in looking deeply into the divide. American media is not biased against Israel, nor or are they pro Palestine or Hamas...

The Evolution of Man Revisited

As the expectations of manhood evolve, so too do the rules of love. In Mr. Holmes’s statement [from “Our Therapist Will See Us Now” in last week’s issue] he narrows the key to a successful relationship to the basic need to have your wants and needs understood, and it is on this point I expand...

Home · Articles · News · Random Thoughts · Why not Geena?
. . . .

Why not Geena?

Robert Downes - September 8th, 2008
Choosing Sarah Palin as John McCain’s running mate for vice president was a brilliant idea -- if you were trying to write a comedy skit for Mad TV or the Conan O’Brien Show, that is.
John McCain has a lot of wear on his tires. Five years in a Vietnamese prison camp played hell with his health, and he’s also battled skin cancer three times. If he takes office at the age of 72, McCain will be two years away from the average life expectancy of the American male.
So, it’s nice to know that he picked someone younger “just in case.”
But Sarah Palin? She’s been governor of one of the least-populated states in the country for just two years. Prior to that, she was mayor of Wasilla, a town of 7,000 people.
If you’ve ever been to the eyesore of Wasilla, Alaska, rest assured, you wouldn’t want anyone from that dirt patch town of junk cars and snowmobile wrecks to rise above the post of a dog catcher. For starters, Wasilla has an unemployment rate of 11.2 percent, compared to the national average of 5.8 -- it‘s George Bush’s America.
Yet this is the person we want with her finger on the nuclear button if John McCain kicks the day after the election?
The odds of this happening are fairly high: Eight American presidents out of 43 have died in office -- that’s a little over a one-in-five possibility. President James Garfield was shot four months after he took office in 1881 and died that September. William McKinley was elected in 1900, and assassinated the following year.
But McCain could more likely go the way of William Harrison, who was elected in 1840. Harrison gave the longest inauguration speech in history -- one hour and 45 minutes -- in a pounding rainstorm with no hat or overcoat. He got sick, caught pneumonia, and died 31 days after taking office.
Ah, but Sarah Palin has already shown what kind of horse-sense she’s got. She doesn’t believe in sex education for kids, preferring the “abstinence only” teachings that have served her 17-year-old daughter Bristol so well.
And did anyone remind this lady that she‘s got five kids -- including a newborn -- and that being vice president of the United States might sort of get in the way of the “mom” thing?
Speaking of her mom credentials, to cap it all off, she has actually given her blessing to her daughter marrying an 18-year-old who’s still a kid himself. On his MySpace page, prospective husband Levi Johnston says he’s a “redneck” who likes to snowboard, go fishing, ride dirt bikes, go camping and “hang out with the boys.” He warns that you mess with him, “I’ll kick (your) ass.”
Okay, fair enough -- that’s the whiskey talkin’ -- but this manchild also states on his webpage that, “I don’t want kids.”
Well, so what? Folks have been getting married in the Red states at the age of 14 since God knows when, often at the end of a shotgun barrel, and that’s what got staged for Bristol & Levi last week at the Republican Convention. Sounds like he’s got a promising future with Taco Bell.
But these days, most parents wouldn’t dream of letting their 17-year-old marry an 18-year-old self-professed redneck. Can you imagine what the Republicans would make of this if this was Joe Biden‘s daughter?
It makes you wonder: why didn’t John McCain pick his pal Joe Lieberman to be his running mate like he wanted in the first place?
Answer: Joe looks like hell in a dress.
Here’s a better idea: offer Sarah Palin a speaking part in the upcoming film, Idiocracy II, and ditch her for a gal who’s already got on-the-job experience: Geena Davis.
Geena Davis served as president from 2005-2006 for 19 episodes of the Commander in Chief television show. This was following the unexpected death of President Teddy Bridges.
Geena is a trained actress and will be able to recite lines such as “George Bush wasn’t so bad” with a straight face. Plus, she’s got credentials as a warrior fit to lead our nation: Check out 1995’s “Cutthroat Island” where Geena played a swashbuckling lady pirate -- it’s better than the last Pirates of the Caribbean. And she didn’t take any guff in Thelma & Louise either -- play that one for Vladimir Putin.
Plus, she’s got a closet full of ball gowns and knows how to walk a red carpet -- perfect for affairs of state. Wouldn’t we all feel safer with Golden Globe winner Geena Davis behind John McCain on Inauguration Day? If Dan Quayle could be VP, then so can Geena.
 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 
 

 

 
 
 
Close
Close
Close