Wedding DJ puts his spin on the big day

Jan. 24, 2010

Wedding DJ puts his spin on the Big Day
By Pat Stinson
After “spinning discs” at 1,200-plus weddings and spending 14 years as a WRIF radio personality in Detroit, deejay Mike Staff, owner of the wedding services firm Mike Staff Productions, has seen and heard it all. He offers plenty of sage advice for would-be grooms and brides, based on his observations and those of his seasoned DJs, photographers and videographers.
Anecdotes abound in the wedding business, and there are as many stories as there are participants. Some are funny – such as when the best-looking father-of-the-groom Staff had ever seen turned out to be a transvestite. Some are sad, such as a ‘Bridezilla’ and Winnie-the-Pooh fanatic who used a microphone to yell obscenities at her new husband when he joined her in a dance with her beloved Pooh-bear.
Staff observes that there are two types of wedding clients. Most approach their Big Day as the party of their lives, and are there to have a good time. Others want to control everything. “They can’t really get into the vibe and they don’t have fun,” Staff says of the latter.
On the other hand, would-be grooms should assume one or two responsibilities, so their wishes are heard and prospective brides aren’t shouldering everything. “Remember, grooms, it’s your day too,” he says.

Size doesn’t matter, planning does.
Some of the best parties aren’t the highest priced. Staff remembers a gymnasium filled with 200 people using paper plates and plastic utensils. Guests were ready to enjoy a party and had fun doing shots and getting rowdy. “I was excited I was there, and they spent some money on me,” he says.
Then there was the time he spun tunes for a smaller wedding of 50 people. He was warned in advance that everyone would leave early. After dinner, they did -- except the bride and groom, best man and maid of honor, who danced to his music for two hours without stopping. “It was really, really fun,” he enthused, “and the party was over by 10 p.m.”
On the whole, though, people attend wedding receptions ready to party. “There’s an expectation of fun – of great food and booze with family and friends,” Staff says. “If you can create an environment where people are relaxed, everyone will have fun.”
The key is planning ahead and staying true to you. “It’s your party; it doesn’t have to be like your friends’,” he says. “Every party has its own personality.”
He recommends starting the party out “strong” by choosing a hall with a track record, skipping the receiving line (“it takes a long time…people understand they can come to you; don’t try to play catch-up with 250 people”), and keeping dinner on schedule without dragging on, which makes people tired and ready to leave early.
Avoid having too many special dances, or trying to include a slideshow, a chocolate fountain and a garter event into an afternoon or evening reception. “If you pack too much into the party, nothing has time to unfold,” he explains.

What guys contribute.
“DJs are usually the one thing the guys want to take control of,” Staff says. “My advice on that: Make sure you supply the DJ with a list of your favorite songs, and the ones you don’t want to hear.”
Staff recalls one groom who asked his DJ not to play the song “I’m Too Sexy,” yet guests started requesting the hit, even before dinner. By dance time, almost half the guests had asked to hear it. The DJ was still trying to figure out what was up. Turns out, the tune was played at his friends’ weddings and all the groomsmen got crazy and danced with their shirts off. The DJ had to take his off, too. “Little traditions are fun,” Staff says, “but they don’t work at every wedding.”
It’s up to the men to give the toasts, and Staff advises writing it “with your grandmother in mind.” He likes the adage: “You don’t marry someone you can live with; you both marry someone you can’t live without,” and toasts by the groom can share the reasons why.
One thing a groom’s toasts should never mention is past girlfriends. “I’ve never seen it work,” he says. “They try to be funny and make a point. It’s never funny and it never works.”
A best man should not be drunk when he gives his toast. Staff recalls a groom’s father taking a microphone away from a drunk and rambling best man, and “everyone started clapping.” One of Staff’s favorite toasts: “May your love be modern enough to stand the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.”
Above all, grooms should spend time with their wives during the reception. Staff said he’s seen too many couples work the room with a “divide and conquer” mindset, which leads to two different memories of the wedding reception. “Dance with her, include a slow dance, get her drinks and hang out.” That’s the way to create shared memories.

Mike Staff Productions has offices in Troy and Traverse City. Call 248-689-0777 or visit www.mikestaff.com