Letters 11-23-2015

Cheering From Petoskey While red-eyed rats boil fanatically up from the ancient sewers of Paris to feast on pools of French blood, at the G20 meeting the farcical pied piper of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue thrusts a bony finger at the president of the Russian Federation and yells: “liberté, égalité, fraternité, Clinton, Kerry--Obamaism!”

The Other Mothers And Fathers Regarding the very nice recent article on “The First Lady of Yoga,” I have taken many classes with Sandy Carden, and I consider her to be a great teacher. However, I feel the article is remiss to not even give acknowledgement to other very important yoga influences in northern Michigan...

Drop The Blue Angels The last time I went to the National Cherry Festival, I picked the wrong day. The Blue Angels were forcing everyone to duck and cover from the earsplitting cacophony overhead...

Real Advice For The Sick In the Nov. 16 article “Flu Fighters,” author Kristi Kates fails to mention the most basic tool in our arsenal during Influenza season... the flu vaccine! I understand you might be afraid of being the victim of Jenny McCarthyism, but the science is there...

Keeping Traverse City in the Dark Our environment is our greatest asset. It sustains our lives; it drives our economy. We ignore it at our peril. Northern Michigan Environmental Action Council (NMEAC) has submitted letters of concern to both the city commission and planning commission regarding the proposed 9-story buildings on Pine Street. We have requested an independent environmental assessment with clear answers before a land use permit is granted...

All About Them Another cartoon by Jen Sorensen that brings out the truth! Most of her cartoons are too slanted in a Socialist manner, but when she gets it correct, she hits the nail on the target! “Arizona is the first state to put a 12-month lifetime limit on welfare benefits.” That quote is in the opening panel... 

Unfair To County Employees It appears that the commissioners of Grand Traverse County will seek to remedy a shortfall in the 2016 budget by instituting cuts in expenditures, the most notable the reduction of contributions to various insurance benefits in place for county employees. As one example, the county’s contributions to health insurance premiums will decrease from ten to six percent in 2016. What this means, of course, is that if a county employee wishes to maintain coverage at the current level next year, the employee will have to come up with the difference...

Up, Not Out I would like to congratulate the Traverse City Planning Commission on their decision to approve the River West development. Traverse City will either grow up or grow out. For countless reasons, up is better than out. Or do we enjoy such things as traffic congestion and replacing wooded hillsides with hideous spectacles like the one behind Tom’s West Bay. At least that one is on the edge of town as opposed to in the formerly beautiful rolling meadows of Acme Township...

Lessons In Winning War I am saddened to hear the response of so many of legislators tasked with keeping our country safe. I listen and wonder if they know what “winning” this kind of conflict requires or even means? Did we win in Korea? Did we win in Vietnam? Are we winning in Afghanistan? How is Israel winning against the Palestinians? Will they “take out” Hezbollah...

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Join the War Corps: It‘s Time for Conscription of the Willing

Bill Smith - August 12th, 2004
Over 40 years ago President Kennedy introduced the Peace Corps, a voluntary initiative to support the Kennedy vision of the U.S. role in helping to make the world a better place.
I propose that President Bush introduce the War Corps, again a voluntary initiative to support the Bush vision of the U.S. role in helping to make the world a better place.
The War Corps provides a serious ‘action plan’ for believers in the Bush Doctrine of “preemptive invasion.”

The War Corps will be bipartisan. Its centerpiece plan offers a renewed draft called the “Conscription of the Willing.” Here is how it would work:

President Bush delivers a major speech debunking the myth that mostly not-so-privileged Americans are dying overseas in order to benefit mostly privileged Americans back home. The President will call on anyone supporting the Bush Doctrine to step up and offer the names of all eligible family members for a special “conscription of the willing” draft to be held in the near future.
President Bush gets the ball rolling by submitting the names of his own twin daughters, who flank him on both sides with smiles and waves, along with the sons and daughters of cabinet members and close advisors.
Top appointed and elected officials (i.e. Congress) who have voted for and supported the Iraqi War, or high-profile private citizens in support of the Bush Doctrine (i.e. talk show hosts, corporate executives) will be invited to classify themselves or their own children (or grandchildren, etc.) as “1-AA.” All 1-AA children, unless impoverished or medically unable, will serve combat duty after training.
All other private citizens (i.e. you and me) who support the Bush Doctrine will be invited to sign up their eligible dependents for the “1-A” category, to be drafted until 50% are conscripted. 1-A families will receive pins, bumper stickers, and plaques to proudly display their voluntary 1-A status in support of the Bush Doctrine. The first 1,000 1-A families who enlist before conscription will also receive commemorative flight goggles – replicas of the ones the President wore when he declared victory on the aircraft carrier.
Some conscripted individuals will be given the opportunity to learn the languages of Pakistan, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, and Korea – useful for incursions into countries known to have been far greater threats and/or conduits of terrorism than Iraq.
All top corporate executives who wish to support the War Corps, but who have no eligible dependents, will be invited to slash their total compensation to $911,000 per year, with the remainder donated to veterans programs, or to start up costs of a new 24/7 Bush Doctrine cable channel which alternately broadcasts Presidential rally speeches and John Wayne movies.
All conscripted children of 1-AA and 1-A families may choose to serve in non-combatant roles by helping families of civilian victims of invasion (now numbering in Iraq four times the number of U.S. civilian 9/11 victims – picture four sets of twin towers leveled by American bombs).
All citizens will always be encouraged to enlist without waiting for conscription.

Huge bipartisan rallies of 1-AA and 1-A extended families will be held in major urban shopping malls. Drawings will be held to distribute newly legalized automatic weapons to the lucky winners. Names of the Willing will be published in local newspapers, with pictures of them shown in combat zones.
And what about those 1-AA and 1-A families who choose not to serve, who choose not to put their own children in harm’s way? It’s a free country – and I am sure you will find them with the rest of us waving their flags proudly at the next Fourth of July parade.

Bill Smith is a resident of Suttons Bay.

Some bumper
sticker suggstions:
• My Child Joined the War Corps!
• In Bush We Trust
• Soccer Moms For War
• Containment is for Wimps
• Terrorism: Evil Without a Cause
• Preemptive War:
A New American Tradition
• We Have A Positive Vision: And You’re Either For Us Or You’re Against Us

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