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Join the War Corps: It‘s Time for Conscription of the Willing

Bill Smith - August 12th, 2004
Over 40 years ago President Kennedy introduced the Peace Corps, a voluntary initiative to support the Kennedy vision of the U.S. role in helping to make the world a better place.
I propose that President Bush introduce the War Corps, again a voluntary initiative to support the Bush vision of the U.S. role in helping to make the world a better place.
The War Corps provides a serious ‘action plan’ for believers in the Bush Doctrine of “preemptive invasion.”

The War Corps will be bipartisan. Its centerpiece plan offers a renewed draft called the “Conscription of the Willing.” Here is how it would work:

President Bush delivers a major speech debunking the myth that mostly not-so-privileged Americans are dying overseas in order to benefit mostly privileged Americans back home. The President will call on anyone supporting the Bush Doctrine to step up and offer the names of all eligible family members for a special “conscription of the willing” draft to be held in the near future.
President Bush gets the ball rolling by submitting the names of his own twin daughters, who flank him on both sides with smiles and waves, along with the sons and daughters of cabinet members and close advisors.
Top appointed and elected officials (i.e. Congress) who have voted for and supported the Iraqi War, or high-profile private citizens in support of the Bush Doctrine (i.e. talk show hosts, corporate executives) will be invited to classify themselves or their own children (or grandchildren, etc.) as “1-AA.” All 1-AA children, unless impoverished or medically unable, will serve combat duty after training.
All other private citizens (i.e. you and me) who support the Bush Doctrine will be invited to sign up their eligible dependents for the “1-A” category, to be drafted until 50% are conscripted. 1-A families will receive pins, bumper stickers, and plaques to proudly display their voluntary 1-A status in support of the Bush Doctrine. The first 1,000 1-A families who enlist before conscription will also receive commemorative flight goggles – replicas of the ones the President wore when he declared victory on the aircraft carrier.
Some conscripted individuals will be given the opportunity to learn the languages of Pakistan, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, and Korea – useful for incursions into countries known to have been far greater threats and/or conduits of terrorism than Iraq.
All top corporate executives who wish to support the War Corps, but who have no eligible dependents, will be invited to slash their total compensation to $911,000 per year, with the remainder donated to veterans programs, or to start up costs of a new 24/7 Bush Doctrine cable channel which alternately broadcasts Presidential rally speeches and John Wayne movies.
All conscripted children of 1-AA and 1-A families may choose to serve in non-combatant roles by helping families of civilian victims of invasion (now numbering in Iraq four times the number of U.S. civilian 9/11 victims – picture four sets of twin towers leveled by American bombs).
All citizens will always be encouraged to enlist without waiting for conscription.

Huge bipartisan rallies of 1-AA and 1-A extended families will be held in major urban shopping malls. Drawings will be held to distribute newly legalized automatic weapons to the lucky winners. Names of the Willing will be published in local newspapers, with pictures of them shown in combat zones.
And what about those 1-AA and 1-A families who choose not to serve, who choose not to put their own children in harm’s way? It’s a free country – and I am sure you will find them with the rest of us waving their flags proudly at the next Fourth of July parade.

Bill Smith is a resident of Suttons Bay.

Some bumper
sticker suggstions:
• My Child Joined the War Corps!
• In Bush We Trust
• Soccer Moms For War
• Containment is for Wimps
• Terrorism: Evil Without a Cause
• Preemptive War:
A New American Tradition
• We Have A Positive Vision: And You’re Either For Us Or You’re Against Us







 
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