Letters

Letters 02-08-2016

Less Ageism, Please The January 4 issue of this publication proved to me that there are some sensible voices of reason in our community regarding all things “inter-generational.” I offer a word of thanks to Elizabeth Myers. I too have worked hard for what I’ve earned throughout my years in the various positions I’ve held. While I too cannot speak for each millennial, brash generalizations about a lack of work ethic don’t sit well with me...Joe Connolly, Traverse City

Now That’s an Escalation I just read the letter from Greg and his defense of the AR15. The letter started with great information but then out of nowhere his opinion went off the rails. “The government wants total gun control and then confiscation; then the elimination of all Constitutional rights.” Wait... what?! To quote the great Ron Burgundy, “Well, that escalated quickly!”

Healthy Eating and Exercise for Children Healthy foods and exercise are important for children of all ages. It is important for children because it empowers them to do their best at school and be able to do their homework and study...

Mascots and Harsh Native American Truths The letter from the Choctaw lady deserves an answer. I have had a gutful of the whining about the fate of the American Indian. The American Indians were the losers in an imperial expansion; as such, they have, overall, fared much better than a lot of such losers throughout history. Everything the lady complains about in the way of what was done by the nasty, evil Whites was being done by Indians to other Indians long before Europeans arrived...

Snyder Must Go I believe it’s time. It’s time for Governor Snyder to go. The FBI, U.S. Postal Inspection Service and the EPA Criminal Investigation Division are now investigating the Flint water crisis that poisoned thousands of people. Governor Snyder signed the legislation that established the Emergency Manager law. Since its inception it has proven to be a dismal failure...

Erosion of Public Trust Let’s look at how we’ve been experiencing global warming. Between 1979 and 2013, increases in temperature and wind speeds along with more rain-free days have combined to stretch fire seasons worldwide by 20 percent. In the U.S., the fire seasons are 78 days longer than in the 1970s...

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The Agony and the Ecstasy of Being Committed

Nancy Sundstrom - September 16th, 2004
Summer is officially over, but that doesn’t seem tohave slowed down some solid offerings in the beach read department. In fact, one of the best of the season just rolled out in the form of Anna Maxted’s fourth novel, Being Committed.

This is the best effort yet from the English, bestselling Maxted (Getting Over It, Behaving Like Adults, Running in Heels), who has endeared readers and critics alike with her own unique blend of heartache, hope and hope, particularly as it applies to romance. Maxted has a true gift for creating endearing characters and flushing out optimism and warmth from dismal situations. These gifts as a writer have aided not only in raising her to the forefront of chick lit authors, but elevating regard and standards for the genre itself.

In Being Committed, protagonist Hannah Lovekin (dig the name) thinks you have to be out of your mind to want to be married. She certainly has no aspirations for it herself (or does she, really?), and seems quite settled with her career as a private investigator in London, her boyfriend of 10 years, Jason, and a comforting relationship with her father (mum is another story). Besides, she tried marriage once when she was quite young and divorced before she was 21, and that experience has solidified her feelings on the subject.

Just when things are carrying along with consistency, if not predictability, Jason proposes, only to have Hannah promptly turn him down. Little does she know that one month later, he’ll be engaged to someone else, but if she had known, would that have changed her answer to him? Perhaps, she muses in the books onset, there might be something in his theory that being committed means first coming to terms with your past:

Every woman likes to be proposed to, even if she means to refuse. At least, until I’d racked up a couple of marriage offers myself, that’s what I believed. Aged fifteen, I read of one thirty-something who’d totted up five and was happy to boast of it in a national newspaper. Then, I considered her lucky, glamorous, popular with boys. Everything that I, as a teenager, wasn’t. (My adolescence can be summarized by one incident in which I took a gobstopper out of my mouth on a train. A man leaned forward in his seat and said, “Oh! I thought you were deformed.”) Years later, I realized that the proposal collector and I were a lot alike. You have to be quite a twit to allow matters to escalate to the point where some guy assumes you’ll agree to rely on him for your life’s entertainment when you have no intention of doing any such thing. (No man pops the question unless he is convinced of a yes. Which says not very much for the perception and self-regard of quite a few men.)
I’m being harsh. If it happens once, it’s understandable. There are certain men who need to get married, for whom the woman is almost incidental to proceedings. The wife is the tedious yet necessary ingredient, similar to yeast in bread. This sort of man fixes on his target rather like a pit bull, and any girl who can’t run fast enough is at risk. Then it’s not her fault. That said, sometimes it is. A persistence in finding you perfect can transform even a man of moderate charms into an accidental fiancé. I know that women, as a gender, are renowned for hankering after men one politely describes as “a challenge.” But I’ll bet that even those men have at one point (perhaps by having sex with us) given the impression of finding us attractive. I think it’s instinct to gravitate toward those who find us delightful. Disagree, but you’ll disagree until the day you meet a person who dislikes you on sight and doesn’t bother to hide it. Then you’ll realize there’s little more repellent. You won’t be able to get away quick enough. So, putting you at the right end of the desirability scale as it does, it’s no wonder that a marriage offer is glorious in fantasy
The fact that out of all the millions of women he has met in his life, you are the one he finds most bewitching. (Or who he thinks will have him.)
Alas. The reality of an unwanted proposal is spitefully different from the dream format I discovered this the embarrassing way. And, as I believe that it cheers the spirit to hear of another person’s romantic woes now and then, I feel it’s only my duty to share. Patience, however. As I said, I have had two marriage offers wait! Three, now that I think about it one of which was successful. I’m going to detail one here and, to reassert my dignity presently making for the hills I’ve decided not to tell you which it is just yet.
When Jason rebounds to another woman, Hannah tracks him down, just as if on a case, and begs for another chance. He agrees, provided she resolve her commitment issues, see a therapist and make amends with her ex-husband. Reluctantly, she sets out on this to-do list, especially dreading a reunion with her ex, Jack, now a successful theatrical agent with whom she hasn’t spoken since the divorce.

When she does so, there are a litany of revelations that come her way, and they aren’t at all what she anticipated. Being forced to see why her marriage crumbled comes along with some significant family baggage, and all of it leads to Hannah realizing that it might not be Jason she thinks she so desperately wants back.

Hannah narrates in a way that is clever, funny, self-deprecating and insightful, and many of Maxted’s one-liners are just priceless. The plot twists work well in building towards a finale that is pleasing, while not entirely predictable, making for a thoroughly delightful read that has enough emotional heft to raise the bar for the Maxted, and the genre, again.
 
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