The Imaginary Trump Voter

March 11, 2016

Not since 1800 when a newspaper created by supporters of Thomas Jefferson accused John Adams of being an hermaphrodite has male genitalia been a campaign issue. But two weeks ago during the GOP presidential debate in Detroit, Donald Trump thought it was an appropriate topic. Of course.

Each week is another step down into the muddy basement of campaign rhetoric, and now this. You’d think Trump supporters would have become discouraged but no amount of his vulgarity, insults or inanity will dissuade them, because, we are told, they are angry.

Specifics of this anger are scant so I thought I’d ask an imaginary Trump voter to help pinpoint it.

Steven Tuttle: What is it that you’re so angry about?

Trump Voter: Washington.

ST: That’s pretty general. Can you be more specific?

TV: The Washington Establishment.

ST: That’s still pretty general. Do you mean Congress?

TV: Yes, Congress and all those lobbyists and special interest groups.

ST: Did they do something that impacted you directly?

TV: Let’s start with illegal immigration. They’ve done nothing about it.

ST: Did you know there are actually fewer illegal immigrants here now than there were eight years ago? And that this president has deported and prosecuted more illegal immigrants than any previous president?

TV: That’s not what I heard.

ST: And you believe Donald Trump will stop all illegal immigration?

TV: Yes, because he will finally build a wall.

ST: Did an illegal immigrant take your job?

TV: No.

ST: Do you know anybody who lost a job to an illegal immigrant?

TV: No.

ST: Did you know Donald Trump used illegal immigrants on his construction projects in New York? And that he imports foreign workers at his Florida resort and his clothes line is made in China?

TV: Everybody does that.

ST: Okay. Do you think all Muslims should be banned from coming here and we should conduct surveillance on American citizens who happen to be Muslim?

TV: Yes.

ST: Do you realize that would be illegal not to mention wildly unconstitutional?

TV: Trump will change the laws.

ST: What else makes you angry?

TV: Obamacare.

ST: Do you mean the Affordable Care Act?

TV: Obamacare. He forced it on everyone.

ST: I assume you know that it’s a law passed by Congress. Did you lose your insurance because of it?

TV: I had to change insurance companies.

ST: Did your new policy cost more?

TV: No.

ST: Is the coverage worse?

TV: No.

ST: If it doesn’t cost more and the coverage is as good, what’s the problem?

TV: It’s like socialized medicine and we didn’t have a choice. Trump will give us something better.

ST: Did you read his health care plan?

TV: No.

ST: It isn’t very specific except the part about repealing the ACA, which means you’d have to get different insurance, again. Is that okay with you?

TV: He’ll figure something out and he’ll fix the economy, too.

ST: You know he’s had some business failures?

TV: Like what?

ST: Trump Airlines, Trump apparel, Trump fragrance, Trump Casinos (all of which went bankrupt), the USFL professional football league, not to mention Trump University, for which he is now being investigated and sued.

TV: Yeah, but he’s still a billionaire and he tells it like it is.

ST: Do you believe in the First Amendment? You know, the so-called five freedoms?

TV: Of course.

ST: Do you know Trump wants to change the First Amendment so he can sue the media for critical reports and articles?

TV: Maybe that would be all right.

ST: Well, he certainly takes advantage of his freedom of speech. Did you know he has re-tweeted messages from white supremacy groups and Benito Mussolini? That he has praised Russian leader Vladimir Putin and that he took three days to disavow support from the Ku Klux Klan and David Duke?

TV: I don’t care about any of that stuff.

ST: Are you okay with the fact that he was a Democrat, then an independent, and now a Republican? That he was pro-choice and now he’s pro-life? That he was for universal health care and now he’s against it? That he was for comprehensive immigration reform and now he’s against it? That he said he was for torture, then said he wouldn’t do it and then said he’d change the law to allow it?

TV: That’s just the liberal media.

ST: Help me try to understand why you would vote for someone like Trump.

TV: He’s an outsider.

ST: And the fact that he seems to be anti- Muslim, anti-Mexican, anti-immigrant, anti- Pope, anti-women, anti-African American, anti-First Amendment, anti-Fourth Amendment, anti-poor, anti-health care, anti-trade and pro-war and pro-torture doesn’t bother you?

TV: He’ll make America great again.

ST: Sigh. Thanks for your time.