Letters

Letters 11-17-2014

by Dr. Buono in the November 10 Northern Express. While I applaud your enthusiasm embracing a market solution for global climate change and believe that this is a vital piece of the overall approach, it is almost laughable and at least naive to believe that your Representative Mr.

Home · Articles · News · Features · You Know You‘re from...
. . . .

You Know You‘re from Northern Michigan When....

Express Staff - March 6th, 2003
-- November 15th is a holy day!
-- You go to a public place with “hat hair“ and don‘t care.
-- You collect unemployment.
-- There are two tribal and one county cop cars behind you with two officers in each car.
-- You wear shorts on a cold sunny day with an ear flaps hat.
-- There are dead animals on all of the walls (even in some bathrooms).
-- You keep a broom in your car to clear your windows.
-- Four-wheel-drive is the first feature you look for when buying a car.
-- You stay drunk nine months in a row.
-- The carpet in your house is always wet from your boots.
-- You can wear Sorel boots with a suit.
-- You leave town during the Cherry Festival.
-- You put snowshoes on to go to work.
-- Every restaurant serves steak & whitefish -- no ethnic food.
--- You get really fat in the winter.
-- The 10-year-olds outweigh you.
-- You‘ve never been to a black tie event.
-- The snow isn‘t gone until Memorial Day.
-- You‘re shoveling til midnight so you can get to work the next morning and you can‘t get the door open the next morning to get to your car.
-- Your best ski jacket is also your best dress-up coat.
-- You‘re wearing Michigan Rag apparel.
-- When “dressing up“ means a clean t-shirt.
-- You own the roads!
-- You‘re continually tailgated by young females.
-- It‘s completely understandable to have an umbrella, snow shovel and swimsuit in your vehicle all on the same day.
-- Your “toys“ are worth more than your house and car.
-- You never see your neighbors.
-- Hippies are around.
-- You ice fish (or try) in October.
-- You put snow tires on your car in September.
-- You can use your mullet as a scarf.
-- The Wings are on TV, it‘s a blizzard, and you‘re in the backyard barbecuing.
-- You wake up and you‘re not sure whether to put shorts on or a sweater.
-- You routinely end sentences with prepositions.
-- You have a D.U.I. on your record.
-- You can‘t find a good place to eat.
-- You can‘t find anything to do.
-- “Pop“ instead of “soda.“
-- You use the furnace and air conditioning in the same day.
-- Six months of bed sledding arrives.
-- You eat fudge.
-- You think slush is security.
-- You don‘t want to leave.
-- You wear a flannel thong.
-- Six inches of snow is a mild day.
-- You‘ve never been to a concert.
-- You jump out of a hot tub naked and roll around in the snow.
-- You‘re in 4-wheel-drive year-‘round.
-- The sand trucks drive backwards for ice storms.
-- You can spot a fudgie.
-- You drink more than you eat.
-- You car is plowed in by the snow plows.
-- You still don‘t get this whole area code thing“
-- You miss having snow.
-- Men wear baseball caps to nice restaurants.
-- You are no longer considered a fudgie.
-- You go to bed at 7:30 a.m.
-- You don‘t drive north on weekends.
-- You see four cops pulling someone over for speeding.
-- All there is to do is sit in a bar and get drunk.
-- You pack both long underwear and shorts for a weekend to Petoskey.
-- The top story on the TV news is that the snowplows will finally get on the road.
-- It‘s 40 degrees when you got to sleep and there‘s three feet of snow when you wake up.
-- It‘s the only place in America where there isn‘t a single rap artist.
-- You complain about traffic jams in Traverse City.
-- You have to wear a winter coat 10 months out of 12.
-- You disdain travel anywhere south of a line from Cadillac to West Branch
-- You wear socks to bead year-round.
-- You use recycled Northern Express kitty box liners to start the wood stove.
-- You pass on the right side of the road, don‘t use turn signals and drive too fast.
-- You go downstate to see all the negroes.
-- You drive like your politics, way too far to the right.
-- You slur vowels together to shorten your words.
-- You can breathe fresh air.
-- You don‘t plan for summer until it‘s here.
-- When the word “aye“ creeps into conversation.
-- Men wear baseball caps to the disco.
-- You don‘t get a glass for your beer.
-- You never know when the cherries are going to be ripe.
-- You can still see your breath in June.
-- You hold up your left hand and point to your fourth fingernail to describe where you live.
-- You can‘t fill in all of the categories in the “Best of“ survey because you‘re over 45, out of touch, and loving it.
-- Da Yoopers are your wedding band.
-- When your car won‘t make it up your driveway.
-- Cherries grow out of your ears.
-- You wear shorts in December because it‘s 40 degrees out.
-- You have four seasons in one day.
-- You could care less about Arabs, Iraqis and Israelis.
-- Getting a “Best“ award from the Express is as exciting as the Grammy.
-- You go to a party and everyone is playing euchre.
-- You describe a person by the car he drives.
-- Your car slides off the icy road in winter, and a truck stops to pull you out, and it‘s a guy you graduated from high school with whose mom you took piano lessons from when you were eight years old.
 
  • Currently 3.5/5 Stars.
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
 
 

 

 
 
 
Close
Close
Close