Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts Robert Downes On the Road, Revisited
I’m always amazed by how many high school and college students have read “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac. The rambling, stream-of-consciousness book celebrates its 50th anniversary this September.
Of course, these young people tend to be those who enjoyed studying literature in school. But still, it seems pretty cool that “On the Road” still has some legs 50 years after it was written.
I read “On the Road” three times at a similar age, from 17 to 19, and couldn’t make a lick of sense of it. It’s America’s version of James Joyce’s “Ulysses,” which is a completely unreadable book about a single day’s events in Dublin.
“On the Road” is much the same. It’s basically an autobiography of Jack Kerouac’s seven years of bumming around America in the 1940s in search of a new “hip” way of life, inspired by poetry, jazz, drugs, casual sex, and living rough on the streets.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Maybe it‘s the nature of the beast, but it sure seems like the National Governors Association (NGA) comes up with some snoozy topics for their annual meetings.
With the war in Iraq consuming our nation‘s resources, New Orleans still a wreck, and the breakdown in the rule of law in the White House and U.S. Justice Department, you‘d think that there would be a historic meeting in Traverse City this week when the NGA comes to town. You‘d think our nation‘s governors would be spreading some hellfire and brimstone.
After all, Michigan is in the fight of its life with a deficit of $800 million, and last week, Pennsylvania‘s financial woes required the shutdown of much of the state‘s government. There are crying domestic issues in America that demand action from our nation‘s governors.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes You have to wonder if it was Detective Tom Heller’s guardian angel who put his finger in the barrel of the shotgun that misfired outside of a court in Montmorency County a couple of weeks ago.
Heller had a .20 gauge shotgun fired at his chest at point-blank range, and it failed to go off.
Don’t know if anyone heard the flutter of wings when the gun failed to fire, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
The Grand Traverse County detective was chasing Robert Becker, who had just been convicted of first-degree criminal sexual charges for molesting a 14-year-old boy. Upon hearing the jury’s verdict, Becker bolted from the courthouse and ran to his car with Heller and a sheriff’s deputy on his heels. Becker pulled a loaded shotgun from his car and fired at the detective, who wasn’t wearing his bullet-proof vest.
It’s easy to snicker at the idea of a guardian angel, but this case sure offers some food for thought. Many religions believe in some sort of protective angel, hovering around in the background like Invisible Woman Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four, ready to warn you away from the tainted chicken salad or the car flying through a red light.
Guardian angels are said to be especially attentive to children, keeping them from falling backwards down the steps and such. And some religions believe that the ghosts of ancestors step in from time to time to lend a protective hand. Or, as noted in the Encyclopedia Brittanica: “other spiritual beings that have been placated by sacrifices or other rituals, assist man in achieving a proper rapport with God...”
Of course, you only have to look in the weekly “News of the Weird” column in the Express to note that a lot of guardian angels must be sleeping on the job, if they really do exist. But in Det. Heller’s case, there is reason to believe that his supernatural sidekick deserves a departmental citation.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes There were more horror stories in the Detroit Free Press last week about the continuing meltdown at Northwest Airlines. Of course, this meltdown has been going on for about 20 years now, so it’s just more business as usual for the airline which is one of our chief flight links here in Northern Michigan.
One story was of a passenger who waited more than seven hours for a 60 mile flight from Detroit to Flint that was eventually cancelled.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Recently, we got to talking about ageism at the office -- meaning people who are discriminated against because of their age. A co-worker said she heard that Northern Michigan was a tough place to find a job if you were older -- even if you have far more skills and experience than a younger worker.
That’s no surprise, because it’s tough finding a job most anywhere once you’ve passed a certain shelf life. For instance, we took a pass on hiring an older worker for a position at the Express years ago. The job applicant had plenty of experience, but seemed to be mostly interested in looking for an easier job -- a place to coast until retirement.
Coasting doesn‘t move a business forward. We hired someone with less experience, but much more drive -- who happened to be younger.
So, memo to older job-seekers: use those streetwise years of guile and experience to look like two sticks of dynamite in an orange juice can, ready to explode with energy and ideas to solve every problem your potential employer might have to get past the roadblock of ageism.

Random Thoughts George Foster Driving to work last week, I noticed several service stations reduced their price for regular gasoline from $3.49 to $3.29. The next day it dropped to $3.19. Talk about bad news. My depression has not lifted a week later.
You see, I become overjoyed whenever I see those little numbers representing gas prices on station signs go up-up-up. Each day I give little pep talks from my car, “Don’t stop now, Speedway old buddy, way up there. “You can do it, Shell, charge me more. “Come on Marathon - higher, higher.”
Significant long-term jumps in prices cause most Americans to get serious about energy conservation, whether we want to or not. I do realize increased gas prices have resulted in financial hardships for many families and businesses of late. Believe me, I have not been spared, but overall it is worth the short-term pain.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes When I saw my first real-life hippies for the first time 40 years ago, I thought they were the strangest critters in zoo.
One of my favorite things to do as a teenager in 1967 was hanging out at the Detroit Zoo. At that time, the zoo was free of charge and I used to spend summer afternoons there, walking the trails and observing the people and the animals.
People, frankly, weren’t all that colorful in a day when bluejeans were still known as “dungarees” and worn by farm kids. Style-wise, most Americans in the white middle class looked pretty much the same. For young men, there was the greaser look, the California beach boy thing, jocks with their varsity jackets, maybe a Beatle haircut here and there, or the fresh-off-the-farm look I was saddled with: white socks, penny loafers, dungarees and a short “Princeton” haircut that was the epitome of nerdiness.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Dagwood Bumstead still carpools to work, but outside of the funny papers, you don’t hear much about sharing rides these days.
But maybe Dagwood will have more company now that gasoline is somewhere around the $3.60 per gallon mark.
Since many of our readers weren’t even born when carpooling was invented, let’s take a drive down Memory Lane. In 1973-’74, the Arab countries launched an oil embargo against the U.S. to punish us for supporting Israel. The result was long lines at the pumps, with little gas to go around.

Random Thoughts George Foster Talk about a story that has it all.
Hot-button issues such as Fidel, Cuba, 9/11 attacks, Hollywood-type liberals, life and death drama - all instigated by who else: Michael Moore.
Moore says his new movie SICKO is supposed to unite conservatives and liberals on the increasingly painful issue of health care. Yet, when Moore’s production crew traveled to Cuba with 9/11 victims (firefighters, and other first responders to the attacks) for better health care, the other Great Uniter, George Bush, decided to question the legality of the trip.
Michael Moore must be doing cartwheels with glee over his good fortune. While investigating Moore’s reverse-flotilla back to Cuba, the U.S. Treasury Department is unwittingly providing SICKO millions of dollars worth of free publicity just before the movie is scheduled to debut.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes was sorry to learn that the Catholic Church got rid of Limbo this spring, because I was planning to stop by there someday on my way to someplace better.
For you nonbelievers, Limbo was a place the Vatican invented hundreds of years ago as a sort of Lost in Space rest stop for folks too innocent to send to Hell, but not quite ready for Heaven.
Unbaptized babies went to Limbo. So did Eskimos, Hottentots and other nice pagan folks from out-of-the-way places who were denied the chance to hear about Jesus Christ by sheer geological barriers. Jews born before Jesus got in too.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes There‘s a lot of pain in Northern Michigan these days as local agencies feel the lash of cutbacks in state funding.
The arts, foster care, libraries, mental health... People are hurting in our state due to Michigan‘s “structural deficit.” Meaning, the 25% of manufacturing jobs we’ve lost over the past seven years have taken their tax dollars with them, and chances are those jobs won’t be back anytime soon. We’ve lost some 330,000 manufacturing jobs here since 2000, according to the University of Michigan.
Even if those jobs come back, chances are it will be with the proviso of huge tax breaks, or less fruitful jobs in America’s new “service economy,” such as it is.
We hear brave voices, speaking on behalf of orphaned children, the mentally ill, the elderly and the poor. We understand the need for art, education, a pure environment, good roads, strong hospitals and all of the benefits of life here in Michigan.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Heard that a couple of teens got kicked out of a local high school the other day for getting caught with alcohol. Hope they pull through... And did you hear about the first-grader who was kicked out of school for pointing his finger at some kids and yelling “bang“?
It made me think that we sure judge kids by a harsher standard today than when I was a carefree young terrorist.
Times sure have changed, by cracky. Back when teenagers ruled the world in the late 60s, the administrators at my high school were busy creating an experimental smoking lounge for students so we wouldn’t have to go outside to smoke. The experiment lasted less than a year, but still, in that social climate I can’t imagine any of our principals would have expelled a student for getting caught with a beer.
Looking in the rearview mirror from the age of Klebold and Harris, I shiver to think of how we parents would have been judged if today’s standards of zero tolerance were shipped to the days of our youth in the Wayback Machine.

Random Thoughts George Foster ARF-ARF. Man’s best friend has arrived - expressdog.com, that is. You might want to run to your computer and check it out.
The rumors of free classifieds coming to Northern Michigan have been realized. expressdog.com is a new online site that specializes in free want ads and more. Beginning now, anyone who has a computer can go online and place free classifieds or find an ad for anything you might want to sell, buy, or exchange in Northern Michigan.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes You couldn‘t turn on your TV last week without seeing hour after endless hour of demented Cho Seung-Hui in fullblown Natural Born Killer pose, brandishing his weapons and mumbling his crazed manifesto.
After awhile, the endless montage of photos took on the quality of a recruitment poster for all of the disturbed and angry nutcases in America. No doubt, a legion of these guys managed to look up from playing their Doom or Grand Theft Auto video games long enough to think: Gee, maybe if I shoot up a school I‘ll be a big celebrity like Cho Seung-Hui... One wanna-be copycat killer was caught just last Thursday in California.
MSNBC and other networks are scrambling to do damage control in regard to airing the Cho videos, but they still don‘t seem to get it. The problem isn‘t that the videos were aired -- the problem is that they were played over and over, hour after hour, similar to the 9/11 jet crash videos. Or for that matter, the endless Don Imus apologies. It‘s like the networks get a case of obsessive-compulsive disorder on single issue stories these days and the rest of the news goes out the window.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes After he won the Oscar last month for his global warming documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, former Vice President Al Gore was blindsided by an “inconvenient truth” of his own. Turns out Gore has a whopper of an electric bill -- averaging $1,359 per month.
A conservative think tank called the Tennessee Center for Policy Research claims that Gore’s 20-room mansion uses more electricity each month than the average American family uses in a year. Plus, the natural gas bills for Gore’s home and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year -- in balmy Tennessee. His combined electrical and gas bills for 2006 came to nearly $30,000.
Whoops...