Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts Robert Downes In the spring of 2005, undercover officers from the Flint Area
Narcotics Group raided a dance club called the Club What’s Next and
rounded up 117 young men and women under the pretense that they were
“frequenting a drug house.”

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Getting a grip on globalization
I saw two men hitch-hiking in opposite directions on the road between
Kalkaska and Mancelona the other day. It seemed odd because you rarely
see a single hitch-hiker, let alone two within a few miles. And I’ve
noticed increasing numbers of people commuting via bicycle this
winter, grinding through heavy slush and snow, sometimes along busy
major roads. I get the feeling that these riders aren’t devotees of
the bicycling lifestyle, but rather, evidence of America’s declining
standard of living under globalization.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Off with their heads...?
In 1649, King Charles I placed his head on a chopping block in London and
had it removed “in one clean stroke” of a broadaxe.
Charles had made the mistake of becoming too big of a pain in the neck for
his subjects (pun intended). In addition to demanding more revenues from
Parliament under the notion that he was divinely ordained, he also
inflicted immense suffering on his people by embarking on two civil wars;
not to mention a great deal of religious meddling at a time when that
resulted in rivers of blood.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Rough Road Ahead
City government has dropped the ball on two occasions involving road issues over the past year in Traverse City, and some residents are wondering how we managed to get so far off course.
As a result of these embarrassing, counter-productive gaffs, some feel that a city which prides itself on being a beacon of progress has been set back years.
It started with the news last year that the Michigan Department of Transportation (MDOT) had plans to simply resurface Division Street, the north-south artery that funnels thousands of cars from West Bayshore to Meijer’s and the mall.
Advocates of “traffic calming,“ including TART Trails, protested that MDOT’s plan was short-sighted and inadequate. They argued that the time was right to re-engineer Division as a safer, slower route that would take pedestrians and cyclists into account.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Whole lotta‘ shakin‘ goin‘ on...
Groundhog‘s Day is always a head-scratcher for me. If the little guy
sees his shadow on Feb. 2, it means six more weeks of winter.
This is considered a ‘bad‘ thing across the country or in
Punxsutawney, PA where the prognosticating rodent makes his home. But
here in Northern Michigan, ‘only‘ six more weeks of winter sounds like
a sweet deal. Generally, we get socked with 10 more weeks of winter,
with the last of the snows ending in mid-April. (And many of us can
recall snowflakes even into May.)

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Biomass a short-sighted plan
More than a century ago, our ancestors had a simple plan for dealing
with industrial waste: they simply flushed it into the river or let it
settle into the ground. Problem solved. What could be easier and more sensible? No one had a clue at the time that there were
unintended consequences that would involve billions of dollars in cleanup schemes within a few decades.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Wedding Bell Blues
Sad, but true: I tend to have a hard time getting stoked for our annual
wedding insert each January, possibly because I haven’t personally
channeled getting hitched in quite some time now.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes The Great Job Eater
...You stop by Border’s Books & Music over the holidays to buy some CDs
for gifts and notice that the music department has shrunk to a fifth of
its former size, with little to choose from.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Fitness 2010 & beyond
The Snuggie and Facebook -- there’s a perfect match in sync with our time,
don’t you think? Just swaddle up in a giant synthetic sock, tap into the
‘book and chat with your imaginary friends -- some of whom you’ve never
met in the ‘real’ world.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Adventures in Advertising
A current fad in corporate America is to hire marketing firms to pitch stories to newspapers for everything from soup to wingnuts.
Typically, you’re slaving over a hot computer, trying to turn the lead of a dull topic into gold on the printed page, when a call comes through with a brilliant story idea for Northern Express.
Here’s an example.
Caller: “Hi, I’m calling from LadyStretch underwear for plus-size women with a great story idea about our new line of Mirdle undergarments for mega-sized men. I think it would be a wonderful story for your newspaper!”
You (hardly believing your ears at your good fortune): “Wow! What is it?”
Caller: “Well, you know how a lot of hefty men have issues with their big guts? The new Mirdle is a girdle for men... blah, blah, blah...”

Random Thoughts Robert Downes So Long to a Dismal Decade
Remember what excitement there was in the air when we rang in 2000 on
New Year’s Eve 10 years ago?
No one knew whether the wheels would fall off civilization as a result
of the Y2K, but we were exhilarated by the dawn of a new millennium
and the thrill of witnessing another 1,000 years of human progress. I
recall joining friends at a local nightclub that night, listening to a
band called Daddy Longlegs as the clock ticked midnight, and wondering
what kind of amazing good time we were in for in the ’00s.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Christmas Grab Bag
Something to Carp About
Do you lie awake nights, worrying about the Asian carp menace and its
possible migration into the Great Lakes?
Relax, we’re probably screwed on this one any way you look at it.
These carp reach up to four feet in length and weigh up to 100 lbs.
They reproduce like rabbits and eat like elephants, gobbling up enough
food to equal 40% of their own body weight each day.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes 2 Degrees & Counting
Was the monster storm that terrorized two-thirds of the United
States last week a sign of global climate change? Hawaii was swept by
40-foot waves, it snowed in San Diego, 70 mph winds buzzed Texas, and
of course, snow ensued here in the Midwest -- lots of it.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes “Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes.”
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

One idea that went nowhere recently was a proposal by two
legislators to slap a new tax on the wealthy to finance the war in
Afghanistan.

Random Thoughts Robert Downes Our New Direction
There’s growing support in the trade magazines these days for the idea of newspapers taking a step back from the Internet.
Heresy? Not when you consider that 105 American newspapers went out of business in the first seven months of this year and more than 10,000 newsroom jobs were lost. Newspapers are fighting for their lives and it’s starting to slowly dawn on publishers that giving the news away for free online is a strategy for extinction.