Recently, I learned a horrible secret: George W. Bush is to blame for global warming. Its Bushs fault your basic hurricane, which used to destroy, say, a city, n dismantles parts of three states and a federal agency in a single day. I mean, most Americans are against global warming, are pro-environment, and worship a guy whose only possessions were sandals and a robe. Someone must have brainwashed us into our energy-intensive, planet-destroying lifestyles and I think it was Bush.
Looking back, I am sure it was him that tricked me into trading my 1984 Honda Civic (45 mpg) for a minivan, then convinced my entire family to buy SUVs. My poor mom! And I am equally sure it was Bush who grabbed the NO BLOOD FOR OIL signs from the hands of my protestor friends and forced them to fly to Ireland, Peru and India for enlightenment. How else do you explain liberals so cavalierly using so much of the stuff they loathe?