An Engagement Story

I know I will always remember the way he looked at me, and how special he made me feel...

Every blushing bride has an engagement story. When I was young, I pictured an engagement which was influenced heavily by the romance of Anne and Gilbert in Anne of Green Gables by L. M. Montgomery. My beau would be handsome and romantic, and his proposal would be unaffected by a recent brush with death (hopefully because he was wasting away for me). He would be my knight in shining armor who would swoop me up out of the blue straight into a marriage commitment. Of course, this would happen after several years of desperately wooing me, the elusive waif for whom he would give his life.
In reality, very few women have this kind of an experience. In some ways, my childhood fantasy is not even a desirable way to propose. If a man consistently woos a woman despite her rejections or lack of desire, it is usually classified as “stalking.”
In addition, women will often pick out their own rings. This is because couples are often in various states of preparation
toward marriage, be it mentally, or
physically – the proposal often comes as no surprise. Most of the women I know describe their engagements as either business deals or an expected step in a relationship. In addition, as humans, we are also prone to farce. Most of what happens to us is skewed by error, and we have to have a sense of humor to compensate.

My own engagement was no exception. After a few years of looking at engagement rings and talking about our future together, my boyfriend and I still had not found anything that captured the meaning we
were looking for. Then his mother offered a unique ring she had designed, which was crafted by Will Case Daniels in Suttons
Bay in the late 1980s. The history behind
the ring, which was created by the same jeweler who made my parents’ wedding rings, was ideal.
Then the torment of anticipation began. I waited nearly two months to have the ring mailed and resized, then my boyfriend waited even longer for the perfect moment. In May, we had the day off and went for an all-day bike ride around downtown Traverse City. As the sun began to set, we sat down at the patio of the Loading Dock to watch the sky change hues from blue to yellow,
pink and red.
My boyfriend decided the time had come. “I’ve got a present for you that’s been burning a hole in my pocket,” he said. “Close your eyes and give me your hand.” At this point, I did something I will never allow myself to live down. I blew the moment.
“Are you asking me to marry you?” I shrieked, as my heart pounded thunderously in my chest.

Even if we don’t have the swooning romances of some childhood fictional characters, most women today still cherish the day of their engagement. I know I will always remember the way he looked at me, and how special he made me feel. All my fantasies were just the thing of dreams, and the significance of the actual act superseded them. We had a special kind of engagement night, even with my clumsy interference. Now, many months later, our relationship still shares that romanticism. We fell in love because we were compatible, and that carries into our desire to be together. This is the way most real-life romances work.
Other couples in long-term rela-tionships have different expectations in the declaration of their union. The
truth is, it doesn’t matter if the proposal is more reserved than romantic; the engagement still captures a cherishable amount of mutual respect. Whether a relationship between two lovers is traditional or not, the essential goals and intentions should be the same. The engagement proposal should function as a declaration of a desire for unity and for sharing lives.


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