The Wedding Planner‘s not so traditional wedding

Weddings conventionally are filled with protocol, tradition and etiquette. Most brides have a grand vision that includes a beautiful white wedding gown with their groom in a black tux, and the big reception with the toast and the bridal dance and all the other elaborations of that big day. We have all been to those traditional style weddings, and when you are a wedding planner,
99% of the weddings you plan fall into this format.
So when you are a wedding planner and you get married yourself, the expectations certainly are raised. Your guests will imagine that your wedding will be the grandest of any they have ever attended, and certainly steeped in tradition.
Well, wedding planner Chandra Demers of Weddings, Inc. and Hitching Post Photography of Traverse City married last September, and her big day delivered on one count – her wedding ceremony and reception certainly was grand – but it was far from traditional.

NICE DAY FOR AN EARTH-TONED WEDDING
Demers, who married Bart Wheeler, on average plans 8 to 12 weddings a year, and pretty much all of them are of the “White Wedding” variety. She started in the wedding photographer business and remains a wedding photographer today as well.
“As I was photographing weddings I learned the protocol, and felt I could offer a valuable service to brides in assisting them with meeting their wedding day expectations, so I expanded my service,” said Demers. As Demers was planning her own wedding with her fiancé,
they both wanted to go outside the box of tradition.
“We wanted our ceremony to be very personal to us, not just one part of the wedding but every aspect of it,” said Demers. “Most people attend a couple of weddings a year, and after awhile the weddings begin to all look the same. We wanted to create an experience that not only would last a lifetime for us, but for our guests as well.”
Demers and Wheeler were married at the Sunrise Landing between Omena and Northport on the Leelanau Peninsula. Their guests were anticipating something special, knowing that the setting for the event was along West Grand Traverse Bay, and the couple planned to be married outside. The reception was also planned for outside, but few knew that the day was going to be anything but traditional.
The 220 guests caught on quickly as Bart appeared, not in the traditional tux, but in earth-tone colored linen pants and a casual shirt and sweater vest, all from Banana Republic, along with sandals (Reefs) from Back Country Outfitters in Traverse City. His groomsmen matched his attire.
Confirmation that things were going to be really different arrived when Chandra appeared in a red wedding dress. Her dress was made locally by seamstress Melanie Stoll, and the price tag was $300, well below the cost of most white wedding dresses. Chandra also passed on the traditional veil, choosing to go with a simple floral arrangement of orchids in her hair that matched her bouquet.
The ceremony also differed from the traditional religious ones. Instead of the typical reciting of vows and the traditional “do you take so and so to be your lawfully wedded wife,”
the couple wrote their own vows from start to finish. The ceremony also included a poem about dogs that Chandra found online and felt added meaning and some humor to their special moment. Typically, the ring bearer or best man is entrusted with the wedding rings, but the couple chose to go a different route - they had their two dogs, Jakob and Sorbet (black lab and golden retriever), bring the rings to them. James Smith Jewelers of Traverse City crafted the rings.
“We tried to use as much local as possible in all aspects of the ceremony and the reception,” said Chandra. “Living here is so much of who we are as individuals, and as a couple, we couldn’t imagine not using locally made items.”

DESSERTS, DANCING, AND... HENNA?
That local feel was evident at the reception as well. Local musician Mike Moran performed at both the ceremony and the reception, along with local band Mac Daddy performing dance tunes after dinner.
While the food stations had an international focus to them, locally grown produce was used. Demers joked, “We took a reverse approach and made everything vegetarian, but offered some meat alternatives just in case not everyone was a vegetarian.”
They served local wines and beer from Shorts Brewery in Bellaire. Also important to the bride and groom was keeping the wedding as “green” as possible, so they used biodegradable wooden plates and other green friendly products.
There was no wedding cake to cut; instead they opted for 15 different flavors of pie from the Grand Traverse Pie Company and 15 different flavors of ice cream from Moomer’s (which is not too far from the couple’s home).
After the dancing everyone headed to the beach for a bonfire and s’mores. The next day the couple hosted an organic brunch that they prepared for their guests, again using locally grown items. After the brunch, they headed to Empire Beach for a “trashing of the dress” ceremony where Chandra eventually made her way into Lake Michigan.
Other not so traditional things for their wedding included the rehearsal dinner that they had catered by the Taco House. For the thank you cards the couple sent out thank you boxes to their guests, which included a photo collage from the wedding and personalized fortune cookies.
Another thing that certainly is not traditional at American weddings is the bride having her hands decorated. This Indian tradition is called “mehndi,” which is when a woman has her hands painted with henna paste (an organic plant-dye material) before a big event; she is not allowed to work while her hands are painted, and others must serve her during this time while her henna paste designs dry. Chandra had an authentic henna artist from Grand Rapids apply the designs.
But here is one not so traditional approach they took that wasn’t planned. Usually the bride and her family do most of the work to plan the wedding. While this tradition is changing somewhat, seldom does the groom take the lead role in the planning and organizational process. But in this case, Bart had to step up, or the wedding would have been cancelled.
“A couple months before the wedding, I came down with spinal meningitis and the doctors told me I should cancel the wedding. I said no way - and Bart was wonderful. He stepped up and took care of everything,” said Chandra. “His family and my family pitched in. I lost 10 pounds and poor Melanie had to take in my dress last minute so it would fit.”
Because of her work as a wedding planner, she couldn’t take off right away for a honeymoon, so Chandra and Bart left last week for their honeymoon in Tahiti.

To view additional photos of the Demers/Wheeler wedding, go to
www.hitchingpostphoto.com; you may also reach out to Chandra if you are interested in her services as a wedding planner or photographer for your wedding or next event. Her office number is 231.275.5800.

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