Can #MeToo Break Up the Good Ol’ Boys?

Guest Opinion

April 21, 2018

When a society is in the middle of massive social change, it’s very difficult to see exactly what is happening and how far that change will go. Sometimes, we get an obvious event that becomes the symbol of change that we can glom onto, helping us put all this change in context. For example, when Obergefell v. Hodges was decided, suddenly gay marriage was a legal right. But hadn’t the process toward this fundamental right to love whomever we want begun decades earlier? Prior to Matthew Shephard’s murder, how many gay men were tortured and murdered in obscurity? Before Harvey Milk and Barney Frank, how many homosexuals were willing to embrace their sexuality while trying to serve the public? Through tragedy and triumph, social change can be painfully slow, and while it’s happening, it’s impossible to know where it will all end. Once some great social achievement has been obtained, however, it is possible to look back and chronicle events that once seemed distinct but are now clearly part of the tides of change.

This seems especially true with the #MeToo movement. Make no mistake, we’re in the midst of enormous social change. Mistreatment of women has been a part of every human culture since at least Neolithic times. Men have often used their positions of power to gain non-reciprocated sexual gratification, and few women have ever been able to do much about it. Complaints from women, however, did not start with the victims of Bill Cosby, Harvey Weinstein, or Donald Trump. What changed is a willingness for a substantial number of people to listen.

As the nation-wrecking, embarrassing, vile Trump presidency rolls on, in the end we are likely to have little to celebrate in terms of accomplishments. It is possible, however, that his gross misconduct threw enough gas on the sparks of the #MeToo movement to empower more women to come forward and more men to understand what women have long known. Maybe we will be able to honor the Trump era with a wing in his presidential library dedicated to his sexual misconduct.

It occurs to me that the amazing bravery of students at Parkland High School might very well be connected to the #MeToo movement. Students have been slaughtered in their classrooms before, but we have never seen a more powerful, intelligent, and inspiring response than we have seen in these past few months. Was the courage to speak out inspired by the women who chose to challenge the system of harassment and abuse that for so long defined the relationships between men in power and their prey? We won’t know for sure until the story has played out, but there is reason to hope that we are in the middle of something, and not near the end.

After every school slaughter we have been told that the power of the NRA is so immense that it is pointless to try any sensible solution to these slaughters. Just like the “boys will be boys” argument to mansplain sexual harassment and abuse, we are made to feel that weapons of mass murder are just part of America … maybe even a constitutionally protected part of America. (This is the second biggest lie in our culture, by the way.) Why bother to make school slaughters less likely to occur? They are as much a part of our culture as trading sex for roles in movies.

So if the actions by students in Parkland are, in fact, connected to the #MeToo movement in some way, we are free to ask what’s coming next. The common thread between Parkland and #MeToo is the willingness to stand up to those in power who have safely assumed they can act with impunity.  Intimidation is easy if no one will challenge a person’s misuse of power. With some luck, more people will begin to recognize that just because things have always been done a certain way doesn’t mean they can’t be changed. 

Small-town good ol’ boys thrive on the notion that the network of those who have been running things forever know best for the rest of us. These good ol’ boys anticipate never having to be held accountable, and so, like most humans with a free pass, they use their power to accumulate wealth and excuse misconduct. Government contracts? “I’ll take one of those.”  Spousal abuse?  “Aw, jeez, he was just drunk.” Misusing county or city email? “Aw shucks.” Kid not getting enough playing time? “Watch this.”  Middle management, administrators, and even local media are so intimidated and afraid to challenge the status quo, I’m afraid that if Donald Trump walked by, he just might reach out and grab them. 

There are many more victims to come forward and many more battles to be fought against those who abuse their power. Sometimes false accusations will ruin careers, because women are people too. In the aggregate, however, the changes that result from people willing to stand up for justice and common sense are long overdue. All across the country, good ol’ boys are starting to sweat. And that is long overdue as well.

You can read more of Mark Pontoni's thoughts on education, politics, sports, and family at www.thegrumblings.com.