Speed Dating

Feb. 7, 2007

When I became truly serious about settling down, I had a mental checklist for the perfect guy: no signs of excessive drinking, must be honest, left-leaning, intelligent, and a gentle soul who would make a good dad. And I found him!
I think most married wannabes do carry around a mental checklist, which isn’t always so mental: in perfect shape, young and gorgeous, rich, rich, rich, and agrees with absolutely everything you say.
I like a couple of things off that list, too.
But speaking of lists, is it possible to know whether a perfect stranger might make the grade after speaking to him/her for six minutes?
That’s what speed dating is about. Since its arrival in Northwest Michigan more than a year ago, there have been about two events each month. It hasn’t been exceedingly popular like in the big cities where the concept took off, but steady enough. Understandable. It’s really cold here; it takes a while to warm up to this kind of idea.
It works like this: You register on the Internet or by phone for a speed dating event, which typically takes place on an off-night at an area bar or restaurant. It costs $35 ($40 by phone).
Once you arrive, you’re given the rules: You will meet at least six people in which you have six minutes to talk to each one. You can only tell someone your first name, and you have to leave your bad manners at
home, if indeed you have any.
Event coordinator Rene Torney gives you a couple of suggestions for questions: “What is your ideal job?” “What’s the best advice someone ever gave you?” Then you’re given a scorecard to jot down notes, as in “No wonder he had to come here!” or “Wow, I didn’t know God made men who listen!”
Then Torney rings a cute little silver bell for “Go!” You sit down at a table, and meet the potential love of your life. You talk, but not too speedy for your speed date. You try to be yourself, but better than yourself. Wait, no, your “self” is fine just the way she is. And then, Torney rings the little silver bell again, and you go to the next table, and the same thing happens.
Then you go home and enter your selections on cupid.com. If you’re interested in someone who also said they’re also interested in you, bammo! That’s a match, and you have a “message opportunity.” Basically, you can email the person and give them your contact information. At which point, it’s up to both of you to see if you can do anything with the magic.
So does this really work? Cupid.com/PreDating is glad you asked. The company’s statistics show that every two out of three people do connect after the event. The odds are in your favor!
Speed dating is available only for singles ages 25 and up. Most younger people have little or no interest in it since they usually have no problems meeting someone, Torney said.
Torney, 32, is single herself with two children. She puts religion at the top of her list and uses a “soft” approach to get her answers. As in, “And tell me, how do you spend your Sundays?”
“I don’t think a lot of women are looking for that exciting ‘bad boy’ anymore. I’m a professional now. I have kids, and my own house. I want someone who’s going to be supportive, who’s going to be there for me,” she said.
The next speed dating event is February 7 at the Bayview Inn Bar & Grill, 5074 US 31 N., Acme at 6:30 p.m. (Registration is at 6:10 p.m.)
Two groups will meet, ages 25-39 and ages 40-56. For more information, call Rene Torney at 231-884-0073. Also google “Cupid.com and Traverse City.”