How Much do We Change in High School?

Feb. 1, 2015

Last Halloween my best friend with a 3.9 GPA lay passed out cold, surrounded by her own vomit. The circumstances that lead to this weren’t unique by any means. She drank a lot, she smoked a lot, then she ate a lot, and no one was surprised by the result. As she was the only person at this Halloween get together who had gotten blackout drunk she was literally flung out the door so as to not kill the mood. I spent the rest of the night and early morning hours holding her head up as she mumbled AP Calculus formulas nearly incoherently. The other partygoers thought it was hilarious and fitting that this girl who never parties and was so strict about school was still talking about school even when drunk. That night wouldn’t go down in history as my best moment either. Someone had mentioned that if my friend didn’t stop puking or wake up we should probably take her to the hospital. The mere mention of this sent me into a fit of hysterical crying.

Around 4am she awoke and could string together a rational sentence. I had taken her back to my house wrapped in a bed sheet with the help of another friend, Josh, but still had to wake up my 14-year-old brother to help carry her to my bed. As we lay side by side on the floor of my bedroom Josh whispered to me, "Thank you for taking us to that party." Still upset over how the night ended I half-heartedly laughed, "Josh look at what happened; it all got so out of hand."

"We all needed a break Katie," he responded, "and she’ll be alright. She learned a valuable lesson tonight, and no it’s not your fault that it happened, either," he added. I had known Josh since eighth grade, and had anyone else told me it wasn’t my fault I probably wouldn’t have believed them. This was Josh though, a reccurring character in the story of my high school life. Through it all I believed him and trusted his judgment. I fell asleep that night thinking at first about how differently the night had gone from the original scary movie night the three of us had planned, but then realizing that this night was a perfect example of how my entire high school career hadn’t gone as I planned. It wasn’t even close to what I had intended.

If I had the ability to tell my freshmen self what I know now, I certainly wouldn’t say "˜don’t go to your first big party on Halloween when you’re a senior.’ That kind of advice looks fantastic on paper, but it’s not realistic. I would say something more along the lines of, "˜go to the party, but use your judgment, and make sure your friends do too if you can.’ Avoiding things like partying as a teenager is nearly impossible, especially when your parents look back on it fondly, then tell you that you probably shouldn’t do it. That’s kind of ridiculous when you think about it; of course we’re going to still do it!

That doesn’t mean there aren’t things I would tell myself to absolutely stay away from in high school -- such as long term relationships. A long term relationship in high school is the absolute worst kind of hell you can put yourself through, and an enormous waste of time. Many of us spend high school searching for that one special guy or gal that we end up dating for years. It seems so glamorous on the outside looking in, but I had that guy and it wasn’t. The two years we were together were mostly fantastic; the ending wasn’t. I spent weeks wallowing in self pity over my lost love, and I was the one who dumped him! I didn’t know what I wanted at the time, but all I knew afterwards was that I didn’t like it when he was with girls who weren’t me. After the initial heartbreak and healing I was forced to hang out with people who weren’t my boyfriend, and that was when I learned the most valuable lesson I could have taken from high school. Simply talk to everyone and anyone.

In the year it’s been since breaking up with my boyfriend I have made so many new friends, and I know I probably wouldn’t have met many of them had I not been forced out of my safe bubble of shyness. High school is too short to not meet as many of the people in school as possible, and to learn a little bit about them. Each person has a little something they can teach you. I’m friends with everyone from the stereotypical nerd to the homecoming queen, and that’s one thing I think I did perfectly in high school. I may have dropped an AP class or two that I shouldn’t have, and I probably shouldn’t go to so many parties, but I’m human and I’m not perfect. That’s kind of what these past four years of high school have been all about. Making mistakes and learning how to then make opportunities to better myself from them has been the theme of my high school story, and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

Katie Gray is a senior at Petoskey High School. She enjoys drawing, skiing, and spending time with her four dogs.