Travel Jitters

Aug. 17, 2005

I have a big trip coming up, and as luck would have it, my flight is on Northwest Airlines which could be reeling from a strike or a lock-out on August 20.
Fortunately for me, there are alternatives if Northwest goes belly up. Other airlines are headed in the same direction as my trip, albeit at prices that can be sky-high on a last-minute ticket and on planes that could be overbooked.
And I try to remember that the threat of a messed-up vacation is minor compared to the hundreds of Northwest employees who will be losing their jobs -- not to mention the possible bankruptcy of the airline.
Still, it brings to mind the hazards of modern travel. More of us are flying now than ever before, but the perils of planning a trip can seem as aggravating as figuring out a way to land the Space Shuttle.
Travel has been a lifelong passion of mine, starting with hitch-hiking adventures around the country in my teens. I‘ve done a lot of thinking on the subject -- brooding lately -- so here are some pet peeves to watch out for on your next trip:

• Schedule changes: You book your trip 6-8 months in advance to get the best rates and then the airline sends a blizzard of e-mails announcing that it has changed the time of your flight...over and over again.
Since most Americans get very little time off compared to the average Frenchman, German or Australian, it‘s often the case that a matter of a few hours can wreck your entire tightly-planned trip. You know, little things like a missed cruise ship connection.
On a recent trip to New York City, my wife and I had three schedule changes from the airlines. After getting on the phone and complaining that it was going to wreck our plans to attend a concert, the company jiggled things around to get us back on the flight I had paid for in the first place. (!)
Moral of the story: if you‘re getting fiddled with, call and politely state your problem, remembering that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Beg, if you must.
• World events: Good old George Bush, always kicking up a hornet‘s nest overseas with his wise policies.
You aren‘t threatened, but you do get an uncomfortable vibe at times from a few people in other countries for the affront of being an American. That and lectures from preachy Europeans about the terrible things our country has done, etc., etc. A good strategy is to remind these folks of the horrible things Europeans did to Africans and Asians during their colonial days and how they left the third world rotting in the wind. One example: good King Leopold II of Belgium chopping off the hands of his rubber plantation slaves when they didn‘t work fast enough early in the last century.
Fortunately, people who run tourist enterprises such as restaurants and hotels are thrilled to see Americans because of the dollars they bring. Dollars are the magic protective bubble that surrounds you wherever you go. Take plenty of them along.
Overbooked planes: Don‘t we all love this one? There are a finite number of seats on the plane, but the airlines book more passengers than they can hold under the theory that someone will screw up and not show. Unbelieveable. A co-worker‘s husband missed half his trade show last week due to an overbooking logjam.
• Labor problems: Unfortunately, angry airline employees tend to get back at management by screwing customers with work slowdowns, “lost“ luggage and surprise “mechanical problems.“
Disgruntled baggage handlers apparently tossed my well-marked duffel bag in ‘87 when I was flying home from a bike tour of British Columbia. My bag flew on to Frankfurt, Germany and was never seen again. And on a trip home from the Grand Canyon in 2000, everyone seemed to know that it was a fake mechanical problem that grounded our plane as part of a widely-reported slowdown.
What to do? Get used to it... or drive.
• Flying from Northern Michigan: I‘ll never forget the time in 1996 when a tire blew out on our plane just as we were leaving on our honeymoon.
Naturally, there was no mechanic on hand at Cherry Capital Airport to fix the tire; one would have to fly up from Detroit... the next day.
The family ahead of us had their Greek cruise blown out of the water -- they missed their boat in Athens. The guy behind me was going to miss an important business meeting in China. My wife and I saw our honeymoon in Paris go up in smoke -- every other plane was booked for days. Fortunately, two seats miraculously appeared on a plane the next day.
What to do? Plan an extra six hours into your connecting flight in Detroit so you can drive there if things crap out here. And pray.