One man‘s junk is another‘s ...trash

April 20, 2005

One man’s junk is another’s... trash

I thought it might be fun.
Recently, because of a major renovation of my house, I was forced to temporarily move everything I own to a storage unit.
I remember laughing at alarmed friends who offered to help. I am a big guy and a little exercise might be good for me, right? As I started the process of removal, reminders of old relationships and past lifestyles brought a smile to my face.
I soon realized, though, that my moving process would be more about getting rid of unused possessions rather than storing valuables. On the second day, after hours of sorting the chaff from the wheat and lifting seemingly tons of furniture, my fun little move suddenly became grueling. How did I collect all of this damned junk?
Even my dogs freaked out from me walking back and forth to the truck innumerable times as I took away all of the smells they took for granted. Blue hasn’t eaten for days and Star thinks I’ve suddenly gone insane.
Maybe I have - this life, as we knew it, has vanished. No more leisurely meals at home. If I had time to read, where are my books? No more walks with the dogs. I come home from the office slave pits, spend evenings moving possessions from my construction zone to storage, and plop in bed when I can move no more. What a sad sack I have become.
Last night, I dreamed of the blissful days in my 20’s. At that time my credo was to never own more than one backpack load of possessions. Besides a change of clothes and a book of poetry, what else did a citizen of Planet Earth need? I dreamed of spending my days sitting in a lush field, watching cows eat grass.
Upon awaking, I realized I could never go there again. Yet, it was high time to develop some new guidelines to prevent another torturous moving experience in the future. Here are ongoing rules for the 21st century:
(1) If you haven’t used it in the last 35 years, get rid of it. During this move, I came across an MSU jacket that I purchased at college orientation in the fall of 1967. After it became uncool to wear logos of one’s own school in 1969, I stopped wearing it until it becomes fashionable again. Regardless, cool is now out the window for me.
(2) Storing unused possessions, given to us by family members, is not good justification for being a packrat. Material items, that remind us of others, can never come close to taking the place of the people we love. So, don’t feel guilty, chuck it.
(3) Don’t keep many mementos from vacations. Bottom line: past travels take away from future vacations. The time I’ve spent sorting through this travel junk could have been spent on a warm desert island in the Caribbean - NOW. I have finally come to realize that it is futile to collect rocks, coins, and knickknacks from travels. It is impossible to tell if my rocks are from Panama or Lake Michigan and do I really need every photo print I’ve taken since 1971?
(4) Be generous with your possessions. It doesn’t matter how useless a piece of crap you are offering, people have trouble passing up freebies. Better they deal with it than me.
(5) And most importantly, don’t ever accept anyone else’s free junk. It is better to give than receive.