Recognizing Pet Loss

Guest Opinion

By Kristina Pepelko | March 21, 2026

A loss isn’t always recognized as such. Social acceptance allows a loss some legs, imbuing it with meaning that’s understood beyond an individual’s experience. There is ceremony with socially recognized losses, traditions from both Western and Eastern walks of life, from funeral home visitations to sky burials. Pet loss, however, doesn’t often fall neatly into these death practices.

The pet loss experience and resulting grief can be incredibly lonely and isolating. Pet loss is largely considered a disenfranchised loss, meaning that it is “not openly acknowledged, socially validated, or publicly mourned,” as defined by researcher Kenneth J. Doka.

Some people experiencing this type of loss have support systems that rally around them during the grieving process. Others don’t even receive a single sympathy card. Even rarer is company-provided bereavement leave that covers pet loss.

In the U.S., 86.3 million dogs and 76.3 million cats (including countless other animals) share our households and brighten our lives, as reported by the American Veterinary Medical Association. According to Pew Research Center, 97 percent of U.S. pet owners (or guardians, if you prefer that term) state that their pets are part of their family.

Given this, you’d think we’d be further along in acknowledging and normalizing pet loss. But practices and cultural norms don’t always keep pace with our emotional experiences, even though loss and grief are universal.

A year ago, my husband and I lost our beloved Stella, our cat of eight years. She was one of the first pets we adopted as adults and the first we said goodbye to from our family of three pets. Our support system was kind and thoughtful, bringing pizza for dinner the day of her euthanasia, sending cards, dropping off a care package of wine and a Costco-sized package of macarons.

Our friends and family knew that Stella wasn’t just another being who happened to be in our lives; she was family. The grief I felt losing Stella was profound, impacting much of the rest of my 2025 with waves of ups and downs.

Grieving a pet can be as painful an experience as losing a human loved one. Some research has indicated that “bereavement following the death of a pet can actually persist for longer,” according to Mellissa Hunt, Ph.D. and Yaniz Padilla Dalmau, D.Phil. When Stella passed, it hit me that our deep connection was irreplaceable, just as some might say a human life is. Neither connection though—to a human or another animal—should outweigh the other.

Every loss brings grief, which can be sharp, painful, and long. The arch of grief can bend in any direction. It does not discriminate, nor should we. A loss is a loss, regardless of who has passed and who is bereaved.

In reflecting on my own grief a year out, Stella will always have my heart. It is my hope that one day pet loss and grief can be fully recognized and appreciated for what it is—love that persists.

If you are anticipating the loss of a beloved pet companion, you may wish to reach out to a pet loss doula for support navigating this complicated process, including the euthanasia experience. One pet loss doula in the northern Michigan area is Angela Shooks of Dragonfly End-of-Life Services, whom I turned to for support in my grief.

You may also consider booking a pet photography session to commemorate your loved one; local photographer Amanda Lewis specializes in pet photography.

If you are currently experiencing pet loss grief, there are a variety of resources out there, from engaging a pet loss grief specialist and attending a pet loss support group to calling a pet loss hotline (example: ASPCA’s hotline can be reached at 1-877-474-3310) and sharing your story online through Letters to Pushkin or the Facebook group Connect and Share Your Pet Loss Story.

Above all, know this: you are not alone, and your grief is valid.

Allow yourself to navigate it in all the ways you need to regardless of social expectations. Allow yourself to grieve your loss fully, to feel the love that still flows through you to your beloved. It is a gift to have loved and been loved.

Kristina Pepelko is a second generation Croatian-American writer and nonprofit communications professional originally from Metro Detroit. Now based in the Traverse City area, she shares her life with her husband, two rescue cats, and a rescued pit bull terrier.